Merida's Tale
by Strzelec
Summary: Not so long ago they found what they have been looking for all those years. But this time something from the past finds them. Or someone. Was their personal growth real or holding onto grudges is inevitable? The story contains: fierce redhead, Harvey's condo, unannounced visitor, shitty Thai Place dinner. "This is how it ends when Merida pretends to be Cinderella's sister."
1. Chapter 1

Hey there... If you don't like listening to girl's rambling, feel free to omit this part.

Yeah, so this is my first time actually publishing something and I consider myself lucky that it is happening here, that I created(!) a story about the most powerful couple in the world(!). But before you start, my dear reader, I need to tell you a few things:

\- I am not native, therefore I am **really ****sorry** for all the mistakes you may find here. Grammar is my nightmare, I don't get it how people operate using **so many** tenses and _a, an, the _thing - literally makes no sense to me, but I tried to follow the rules I will probably never comprehend (hah, you ready for commas in all wrong places?). Also, I've got some kind of fetish for _definitely-too-long_ sentences that follows me even in English, sorry if you find it not understandable.

\- it didn't go through beta's hands, because I don't like asking people for favors and I didn't know to whom turn to...

\- I tried to not read post 8x16 fanfics, so some little devil wouldn't make me unconsciously copy from them, but one or two contents from Twitter made me thinking (and I don't remember whose tweet gave me ideas, dumb me.)

\- in my mind it's like third story in the row (we go back to my inability to write hahah), yet it works on its own just fine. Two-shot. Just sayin'.

Sooo... have fun or whatever positive you can get from it, I'll just log off the internet to... Do other things, not hide (not hide, lmao).

* * *

"I cannot take it anymore," she actually growls just as the elevator door closed behind them. Her breath slightly accelerated, face flushed. The metal box begins its sluggish expedition to the top of the building and after few seconds she breaks, "Jesus, ride to your place always take ages."

"Told you it's gonna end this way," he chuckles, watching her closely in the small space they found themselves in. "You want me to strip you off of these?"

"How? With your teeth?" she doubts him as she eyes his full hands. He wiggles his brows at her, wearing matching smile that speaks lengths about how bad he would like to do this. Despite the difficult situation she reciprocates, not really able to resist him. "Ugh, we're close. I withstand."

"C'mon, I know you want it," he tries temptingly, because he notices her resolution faltering. She is capable of keeping her face straight, although her hands tightly clutching the strap of the handbag give her away. She bites her bottom lip, aware how easily she exposed herself. Generally not the one to make such mistakes, but right now _she just cannot_.

"But here? It feels weird. And I've got nothing underneath."

"It's clean in here, you're not going to catch anything," it is entertaining to watch her struggling with her own need. Like observing a child who keeps itself from eating a marshmallow, because it knows the next one is coming if the previous one is whole when examiner returns. So kid is going to touch, roll, play, lick the sweet or cover its eyes – literally everything to restrain itself from biting the candy. She looks just as adorable to him.

He makes quick glance at an electronic screen above set of buttons on his left, numbers shifting slowly and currently they aren't even in the middle. "We are on the sixth floor"

She makes prolonged 'hmpf' sigh, bit sharper than a normal huff she makes, something in the middle between _yeah, I know_ and _I. Need. Them. Off._ _Now_. Mentally she is just not ready to admit defeat, being so close to the final destination. She has done it many times already, okay? She can make it now as well. _I'm Donna. I can keep myself in check._ _Duh._

"Hey, but can you imagine how good would it feel if you just – "

"Screw you, Harvey," she curses as she finally – fucking finally – bends to take off these two sexy bitches off her feet. Moan that follows might be misunderstood for other activity going on inside and Harvey cannot help but laughs at her. She sends him threatening glare getting upright again, pair of black, extremely high Louis Vuitton heels in her palm. But she has to confess - flexing and unflexing her arches on the cool elevator floor is heaven.

His mirth dies eventually, but he cannot stop himself from saying, "This is how it ends when Merida pretends to be Cinderella's sister." He leans in for a kiss she rejects to give.

"Since when Harvey Specter is an expert of princesses? Never seen you walking around and quoting Beauty and the Beast before," she teases, arching her nicely trimmed brow at him, hazel iris meeting chocolate ones.

"I've got the niece," he defends himself with famous Cheshire Cat grin, adjusting his hold on a weighty paper bag containing their dinner from that shitty Thai Place she loves, obviously. His other hand is occupied with a dry cleaning, five sets of suits hanging over his left shoulder, fingers wrapped around hangers. Before they left the car and bid Ray goodnight Donna insisted on carrying something inside, but being aware how painful just walking was for her, he strongly disagreed. He proposed to take her purse too, yet proud woman she is, she didn't even wait to let him finish to cut him off.

"Why Merida though?" she inquires after a few seconds pause, leaning against a mirror behind, her head tilted. She has two nieces, therefore she is well familiar with Disney productions and her curiosity was peaked - why he pictures her this way. Intense gaze lingers between them as they stare at each other.

His smile loses its edge, he shrugs arms somewhat too casually and looks away, suddenly feeling caught off guard. Even now he is not used to talking about his thoughts concerning her – especially these meek and timid ones – in all the openness she deserves. He knows she does. So he tries, _for her_. "She's brave... She refuses to be told what she can and what she can't do. She fights for what she wants, for her freedom – "

She feels her expression softens as he continues, greatly taken by the depth of his words and the amount of admiration she gets.

" – as well as her family. She's a warrior, not reluctant to protect who's hers.." he senses change in the air inside the steel cube as his eyes meet hers again, something heavy settling onto molecules they breath. Wanting to uplift the mood, he finishes, "and you know, she's red," and sends her a wink. Although the corner of his mouth, the one that is slightly higher than the other, makes it obvious how fervently he adores her.

Right now, in that moment, she couldn't crave to kiss this corner more.

And so she does, shaking her head slightly, her face betraying whole range of emotions she feels for this man: endearment, pride, joy, tenderness, gratitude and _love, love, love_. Her handbag set on the floor, her palm lands on his free shoulder (still clutching the pair of heels but whatever), another curls at his nape as her lips crush upon his, still bit parted after his speech. She sucks on his upper lip (the upper girl) and he soon just as eagerly reciprocates by doing the same to her bottom (the bottom boy). They hear _ping_ sound elevator does when it reaches its destination, the twentieth floor, but they couldn't care less. He deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth, the only way he can reach for her as his hands are occupied. Surprisingly enough, he is also first to let out muffled moan, savoring the art her skilled lips create with his.

A noise of closing door echoes in small space and she stretches out her hand from his arm just in time to avoid being squeezed and still successfully stall them, similarly to what he did three weeks ago when he run to her place to voice what he feels for her. Truth be told, he didn't utter nothing concrete (other than _oh fuck_s, _Donna_s and _yes_es or words regarding his needs and wants to do with her) till late night hours but it's the gesture that counts. And when he did, holly shit, it was beautiful.

Focusing back to her previous activity, she bites lightly on his upper lip, loving what it does to his body as well as hers. Her fingers dance in his hair, making a mess of his hairstyle. She is pretty wrapped around him right now and can feel his manhood starts to grow, much to her pleasure. He whispers her name into her mouth and hot shiver runs through her body, hitting her center. Soon it's her time to moan, the height difference working in her favor, when he draws a little circle around her tongue with his own and then sucks a bit on it with his mouth. He certainly is blessed with some skills himself.

The sound begins again and they both growl breathlessly. She stops the door with her hand, heels making _click_ with metal. She is separating herself to catch dose of air and so is he, leaning back in his position. He looks deliciously disheveled and she loves seeing him like that. Okay, she loves him a lot in general, but like this it hits her harder. He smiles at her innocently, a contrast it blazes making her chuckle as she hooks the handbag on her shoulder and exits the elevator. Harvey follows after her, they are just mere steps from his home.

He hopes it'll be also hers in the near future. Not that he needlessly wants to rush things, but being without her is just plainly tedious and he waited almost fourteen years now to take a risk, so he sure as hell wish to make up for lost time. _Thirteen sounds better though_, so he sticks to this label.

_This corridor isn't the best architectural work_, she muses as usual while she makes first steps down the hall almost felling his warm puffs on her neck. Like honestly – Harvey's neighbor has a door almost vis à vie the elevator and his is at the very end of the corridor, even hidden in the short - like three or four feet long – niche. Who made that.

"For the record," she halts in her tracks - her voice melodiously playing within long walls - and she turns toward him. "I was **not** Cinderella's sister. It's just that these heels were the last available pair and happen to be my size and I was checking them out for some time and… well, I needed to have them, they deserved me," she explains in her own cocky way, the _I'm Donna_ style.

"Oh well, if you wouldn't wait so long and bought them earlier, you may actually get the size that fits your feet," he says as they remain glued to the spot. He bumps his hip with her. "Come on, food is getting cold."

She starts walking again, "This model has to have changed sizing or something, they always fitted."

"You have keys?" he asks out of nowhere (well maybe not so, as they are getting closer to his door), ready to change the subject of the conversation. Women's fashion is not being his strong interest until it isn't her dress dropping to the floor with little help of his fingers or him ogling her from head to toe – preferably undressed, but dressed equally stunning.

"No, I left them on the counter since I've known we will be coming back together."

"I have mine in the left pocket of pants," he nods in the direction. She stops again, one step from the edge of the corner, the niche in her sight if she wouldn't shift to face him and he is a bit too far to see the door. With was she is about to do, it is good no one is standing there watching silently, right?

Using the opportunity, she smiles mischievously at him and her free palm sets off to search for mentioned keys. Keys, not balls. Wait, what? Why would it even need to be said? Her hand trials down his stomach, graze the top button of his pants and four long fingers _accidentally _caress what underneath the fly. She looks up just in time to see his jaw tenses, his eyes fixed on her and she gives him the coyest grin she can muster, reflection of what he has presented her a minute ago.

"Ooops," she almost sing-song, moving her palm over him again, this time to finally drop into the pocket but manages to run her nails along his length once it is inside. Fortunately, effects of the stimulation she provided him in the elevator has not completely wear off yet.

He swallows aloud and when he speaks, his voice is deeper than earlier, "Donna."

A thread? A plea? A warning? Does it really matter? She is having fun observing his reactions, therefore she manages to curl her hand in the tiny piece of material. She creates friction by moving fingers up and down. "Donna," she hears again. Feeling extra confident, she tightens her grip a little more.

Every fiber of his being wish to drop what he is holding and ravish her right here, barefoot in the hallway to his home. _Fuck._ But he doesn't let his eyes close as his body dictates, aware that it is not how two adults their age behave, although being caught by his grumpy neighbor would only add spiciness to the whole encounter. He can sense more salvia gathering inside his mouth that somehow resembles the taste of her. _Screw behaving._

"Donna, you want to **eat** that dinner," he declares with low tone, "Or you want to **be eaten** as a dinner."

She giggles, ultimately grasping solid surface of keys, taking them out and using her tiptoes to lean in for lighter kiss than he expected. She is messing with him and he loves it as much as it frustrates him.

"Why not both?" she questions in a seductive voice, holding his gaze in the same manner she did after their first (not really, but still) kiss at her door.

"Deal," he practically whispers, because his throat hit that point when his voice is too harsh to articulate at normal tune. "But I decide what goes first."

"In your wildest dreams, Mister," she chuckles, kissing him properly this time.

Their bubble is cracked when they hear some object hitting the floor too close to his door. They jump away and his protective side makes him take a step forward, replacing Donna's position at front, even before the sight they see kicks in.

But it does soon enough.

She blinks twice not really believing (not really wanting to believe) what – or rather who – she is looking at. Her hold on keys tighten and she has to physically restrain herself from showing grimace that starts to appear at her face. Although giving the position the woman is, she has to seen their foreplay (and maybe hear them making out in the elevator) and that leaves situation without the doubt, who's Harvey is now. And for the rest of their lives, she is not going to share this idiot with anyone, anymore.

"Paula, what are you doing here?" Donna hears Harvey asking, his tone no longer aroused, as his former therapist and ex-girlfriend straighten after picking up her phone from the floor. _Hope it broke_, redhead thinks not entirely able to calm down her inner petty bitch.

"Harvey…" she calls him and it takes him straight to all those _Harvey_s he heard from her, first letter pronounced somehow velvety and rich but making him cringe this time. He hasn't heard her voice for over a year and last time he did, he broke her heart for the woman that was now moving to stand beside him. He wished back then to have opportunity to make it in less catastrophic circumstances, yet after some reflection he got to conclusion she had her fair share of fault.

After all she asked him to choose between herself and Donna, take away well deserved position from not only his best friend, but the person who fought tooth and nail to be recognized. She might not be absolutely ready when she got her new duty, yet she did everything in her power to prove she earned it. And she still continues to learn and comprehend information, strategies, methods to deal with day-to-day shitload of obligations.

He would never ask any of his partners to do the same for him, wouldn't require someone to make such tough choice… Wouldn't just demand to be the most important one, aware of his flaws and shortcomings, being able to give himself back the maximum of his capabilities. Donna would never do that to him. Moreover – she once again put him first, leaving everything she loved for his sake.

Perhaps this is exactly how perfect love should work. One doesn't expect to be placed on a pedestal, one decide to do this for one's chosen partner and trust his or her lover returns the gesture. So he broke up with Paula. He knows his redhead acknowledged that it was first step to rearrange relationship that got so messy during past years.

He made more mistakes than he is able to count, that goes without a doubt. He is sorry for the most of them and he would need another lifetime to make up for, although he doesn't regret his choice. Yes, his relation with Paula probably shouldn't have even begin in the first place but he tried his hardest to focus on her. The lengths he went to be the best boyfriend he could – if Scottie would seen him in that period, she would have every right to feel underappreciated. And given all that, Paula still decided to articulate that fatal ultimatum. Fuck, it was almost as bad as when his mother asked him to keep her secret from his father. Difficult choice between loved ones all over again. She of all the people should know best to never put him in that position. So she got what she asked for. The decision.

In three seconds that Harvey's thoughts were swirling, Donna had enough time to translate Paula's body language and figure out most of the situation. She may have not graduate from psychology, but picking up clues people unconsciously present has been part of her as long as she can remember. It's actually surprising how effortlessly redhead manages to reveal emotional state of someone who is supposed to be the one doing it.

Truth be told, what she sees is not what she anticipated. The blonde looks shocked but there is some finality in her gaze, like she has just confirmed what she knew all along.

Donna used to wonder why wasn't she able to recognize the depth of Harvey's feelings toward _her_ as he kept coming to her on the therapy? Is it really that hard to notice emotionally unavailable person? Understand things like that don't change so easily? Or… Maybe she did all of that, but repressed or denied original concerns and it backlashed on her, probably left her broken. Perhaps the most broken one out of this damned deal. That would explain also sadness, kind of ashamedness and something strangely resembling guilt painting her features. Paula is not looking her in the eyes, her body taking as little space as possible, clearly on a defensive note.

_Good choice after threatening my job_, redhead would like to muse without nagging feeling in her stomach that she is overstepping a line. Which line, she isn't sure.

Paula did behave as a bitch toward her. Was that appropriate punishment for messing with her relationship? Maybe was, maybe wasn't. After all, if there wouldn't be unsolid ground or unshared words already, there would be no room for messing to start with. And going after her professionally, when matter was personal, was a move below the belt. That's probably what hurt Donna the most, someone who had no damn idea how hard she fought for her life, for her family, for _Harvey_, was willing to take everything from her. Yes, this moment she had asked her if she could promise that situation wouldn't happen again, she was looking for an honest answer, yet she knew she couldn't gave her one. So she tried to find something as close to it as possible, but the woman didn't let her.

And she hated her for that.

But it was not the only person she felt resent for. For a moment there, she felt it for herself.

For never taking the whole risk when it came to them. For always giving him, _giving them_ an easy way out. For sticking to this stupid rule she made years ago and then even doesn't remember for who's sake it was. Because people would talk? Consider her less for sleeping with her boss? Oh please, they talked enough anyway, never actually believing they didn't have this kind of relationship. Sometimes she couldn't believe it either. And sometimes she felt like she had robbed them, robbed _him_ of opportunity to have safe harbor, to have what everyone eventually look for. Intimacy. Acceptance. _Love, love, love_.

So she stepped down, sacrificed all she had, to gave him the least she could – a peace. She took away the burden she didn't want him to carry as he carried one his mother made him to. Her throat burned as she left the resignation letter on his desk, but tears didn't fall down until she closed the door to 206 behind her. All in the name of feeling she tried so hard to hid, destroy, bury and never succeed.

In the long run, turned out he either.

But what about overstepping this mysterious line? What is that?

Part of her – bitchy part that doesn't give a fuck – wants to hurt this woman in passive-aggressive manner, show her who got upper handed from this shitty situation, watch her struggle with indifferent expression as she did to her. _Karma's bitch, but karma's always back, right?_ Yet, as big blue orbits accidentally meet hazel ones, Donna cannot find it in herself to do it. Not so long ago she caused her own shitload of drama, emotional misjudgment resulting in tragedy, melodrama and comedy. Paula looks dragged down enough, her pose speaks loud about awareness that she and Harvey would have never develop these kind of relationship, the two of them cosmic objects on different trajectories.

That is enough.

_No need to delve into that_, she decides as she remembers the amount of understanding she has got from her family lately. People who decided to extend their hands toward her rather than to humiliate her, giving her inner strength to make up for she did. They did? Doesn't matter anymore. The firm's fine now and so are they, them freely playing and flirting like they were goddamn teenagers in front of his door. Maybe it is also her chance to pay karma off, long forgotten words coming to the surface of her thoughts.

_Whatever you gave to the world, it comes back to you twice as much powerful_ – mother words echoes through redhead's head as she searches for the reason of her boyfriend's ex visit. _Perhaps karma did get to her eventually too._

What had happened to make Paula come to the person who broken up with her? Given her appearance and tiredness, late hour and the fact that she came straight to his place, ready to wait if needed, the best possible answer seems to be desperation. The question is – is that personal or professional? And how stinking the shit is?

Donna catches Harvey's gaze and appreciates message it sends_._

_I have no idea what she's doing here_.

_I know._

"So Paula?" he hurries her, not pleased with his ex-girlfriend watching him being palmed seconds before, awkwardness settling between the three of them.

"I've came to talk to you…" she admits finally, pink shadow of embarrassment visible on her cheeks. "I'd appreciate if you could spare me a minute or two."

Harvey is not keen on that request and weights his thoughts, trying to decide if he wants to deal with whatever she needs help with. It cannot be good, he know that much. He is just about to reply when Donna interjects –

"He can. Let's get inside, that's not the best place to have conversations," she says and passes Paula, giving clutched keys some usage. Both locks turn smoothly and she pushes the door open, stepping into his condo with self-confidence of a woman who owns this place. She does, doesn't she?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, I'm back! I would like to thank everyone who left any mark that you want me to continue this story, it makes writing easier. It was supposed to be two-shot, but actually I outgrew my own expectations and well, there will be third chapter for sure (I hope you don't mind ;)).

So, if you are still up for definitely-too-slow-action and messed up grammar and lots of Paula Agard and not-so-funny lines, please enjoy what is below.

* * *

"_He can. Let's get inside, that's not the best place to have conversations," she says and passes Paula, giving clutched keys some usage. Both locks turn smoothly and she pushes the door open, stepping into his condo with self-confidence of a woman who owns this place. She does, doesn't she? _

Her heels lands next to Harvey's running shoes ("_They __**smell**__, Harvey, why did you even keep them in the closet in the first place?"_) and boxing trainers ("_You serious? These too? Holly shit, whom do I sleep with?"_). She sets the handbag, which she carried on her shoulder since they have exited the elevator, on a narrow table close to the door. This way she actually has something to do, as she waits for Paula to walk in and after she does, Donna faces her partner.

He sends her _what-the-actual-fuck_ look and she tilts her head, rolling her eyes. She leans into him, her hands brush his and she whispers into his ear, "You would help Scottie. Or Zoe. Or any of your previous girlfriends."

"I don't consider these woman girlfriends," he confesses just as quietly.

"I know, I just needed to make a point. But if she's here to tell you, the two of you have a kid, I'm out," she says, her eyes raising to watch his reaction and the pure horror she sees here in instance makes her regret speaking out loud what she planned to be a tease. Her thumbs make soothing move against his skin as she wonders what scared him more – the thought of having a child or having one with his ex-girlfriend. _I'm gonna ask him later. _"I was joking, Harvey. If it would be the case, you would know months ago."

Her reassurement makes him let out louder breath through nose, but corners of his mouth are still tensed. "How can you be so sure?"

"_I'm Donna_. I know people. Don't worry, whatever it is, I don't think you play the first fiddle," she gives him tiny peck under the ear before she grabs paper bag and takes their dinner to the kitchen island, her eyes following the woman who seems to be taking in the surroundings like she has been there for the first time. Of course she is not, but she hasn't been there since Donna Paulsen started to live in here, at least partially. Not that an invitation was extended.

Two mugs on the counter left in rush – both marked by coffee, but only one with pink lips streak on it. Green apples (Harvey's snacks) are having comrades, red grapefruits mixed in the bowl with oranges, peeled parts of the latter still lying on a plate across the other one on a dining table. Next to them vase holding lovely bouquet of roses ("_Without the occasion, silly. I'm just an amazing boyfriend_… _Feel free to remember that next time I piss you off._"). Yoga mat hangs on the back of one chair, clearly used not so long ago.

On the coffee table lay two books - My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult and The Trial by Franz Kafka – and half burned blue candle. Across back of a couch draped is mermaid's tail shaped rug, colored in lively emerald green ("_It's** awesom**__**e**__. You're just jealous because __**my**__ best friend has more imaginativeness than __**yours**__ when it comes to gifts. Shoo, I'm reading._"). Through the open door to the bedroom is easy to spot two new, fluffy decorative pillows sitting on a comforter. Everywhere Paula turns she can sense touch of woman's hand that alternated the space.

She doesn't know how long they have been together, but she doubts that when she was with Harvey, his place bore any signs of her presence here. Another confirmation of her poor decision making in love area, that seems to happen too often in her life. First her cheating husband, then relationship with her ex-patient who clearly was involved with someone else - the very person moving right now around his apartment with grace of someone who feels like at home, putting food away, changing the lighting from basic setting to her preferred ones, firing up the fireplace – and now that…

She turns around startled when Harvey throws suits he carried on the armchair close to the window. It's the first time she gets to look at him thoroughly without violating his privacy, not purposefully of course. She needn't extra reminder of what they didn't have - dalliance, domesticity, sexual tension - especially by observing her ex enjoying all of the above with possibly his soulmate. Now it was screaming to her so loud and clear, she felt like a last _bitch _(for a lack of more subtle word) for what she has almost done to this woman. Are her judgement skills really so ill-formed?

She notices thin line of his lips and his eyes are dark, his posture taut and she doesn't blame him for that. It's not perfect situation for her either. Actually it's so far from perfection she wish she would never fell in love. So she wouldn't have a reason to come to him and wouldn't have a reason to come to anyone at all.

"I'll let you guys talk."

She hears shuffling behind her indicating that Donna closed doors to the bedroom, probably disappearing inside and her guess is confirmed when she notices Harvey's eyes followed the sound, different kind of darkness shining for a second there. She is psychotherapist, not mind reader, but it's clear where their evening was leading to before her disruption… She swallows hard not finishing her previous thought.

"What can I do for you?" she hears Harvey saying, his focus on her, his tone business-like. He put hands in pockets of trousers, trying to look more casually.

Donna was right, he **did** jumped to that particular conclusion when he saw her on his doorstep. What man wouldn't? Especially when it seemed fate set the goal to kick his ass each time he starts to think he finally figured out some part of his life, Hardman coming after him a perfect example. Having a child with the woman he wanted to have no connections with, would be ideal fucking joke, he has to admit. But given what he observes in the ex in front of him, the child would have to probably got sick or die, because Paula does not look anywhere near good. Her eyes are marked by red, shadows underneath more visible then ever and the bottom lip looks like has bitten on it too many times. The paleness of her skin doesn't bode the best period in her life. Truth be told, she didn't even seem so shaken when he broke up with her and it means something.

She clears her throat, tossing a glance behind and looking on the couch.

"It's… actually longer story then I promised before, but I wasn't sure you let me in anyway… But if you wish to I can make it those two minutes," she declares cautiously, trying to gauge his reaction. Her apprehension goes not unnoticed and he decides to let this white lie slip by, years of practice as a best closer in the city taught him the bare minimum of when to push and when not.

"Have a sit."

Paula walks herself to the sofa, sitting on the same end she told him over a year before that she felt in their relationship were three people. _What an irony_, this time she is the third person in two-people situation. She makes quick peek on the rug on her right, the presence of her ex rival apparent even if she is not in the room. Next her gaze follows Harvey's movement, he has taken of his jacket, loosen up his tie and he is rolling up his sleeves as he sits on the armchair across the table.

"Because I have a chance, first of all I would like to apologize to you… and to Donna for what I made you do. It was unfair and at the time I was aware I could tell you thousand different outcomes for my confession, but I let you settle on fairing her out of my pettiness and hurt. I feel ashamed of that and I'm really sorry."

He nods slowly, processing her words. "Apology accepted, but I hope you will repeat yourself when Donna will come back," he watches the effect it has on her unwaveringly, spotting the surprise she covers quickly with that sorry expression of hers. This time he makes a comment. "You didn't think she would be sitting in the bedroom all time we talk, did you? As far as I'm concerned it's her place as well as mine, so there is no reason for her to hide."

He is aware Donna can hear him even when doors are closed and secretly wish to be able to see her reaction. They may not tell the world yet (excluding one noisy couple), but it feels damn right to say such words anyway. For him – it _is_ her home.

The statement she receives turns something in her stomach sorely, the protectiveness that vibrated in there the reminder of something what was so purely Harvey. She thought she was completely over it now, over _him_, but sometimes she still wonders if their story could turn out different. Some event causing him to hold same safeguarding manner toward her… Perhaps no, it couldn't, yet it doesn't stop her from analyzing, that function of her brain always overworked.

"Of course, I will. And no, I didn't, of course," she repeats the same phrase and knows it sounds unconvincingly, so she continues with more true truth. "Although I was hoping to talk to you privately."

"And you are. If you didn't want to risk that I may not be alone, you might have called."

"You're right. It was inconsiderate of me. The thing is… I've got myself into nasty situation and I need semi-legal advice."

"How is that advice semi-legal?"

She hesitates before answering. "The whole case revolves around law as well as people and it seems this time I'm not able to manage at least people part on my own," she lowers her eyes on her a bit fiddling hands and this admission costs her better part of her pride, he can sense. Somehow her accent casts even more shameful shadow on that acknowledgement, like defeated British would be burned deeper inside than defeated American. Maybe it's really culture thing though.

"I do law, but I don't do people. Not as much as Donna does. Something tells me, whatever you are about to say, the shit is deep and her insight on it is gonna be crucial."

_This woman would make an excellent therapist_, Donna's prediction of her musings resurfaces in her head. If she would be in better mood she might even chuckle on that memory. Yes, she did thought that. The second part – _Harvey has no idea what he's missing_ – also crossed her mind, but soon enough was repressed and buried in unconsciousness. The place for unwanted reflections holding now too many of them, so she gathers strength to free at least one.

"I believe you're right," she meets his eyes again, confirming what he said.

Just then, as waiting for a suitable moment (because she was), Donna reemerges into living room. Without doubt the woman was listening to their conversation, Paula turns into her direction anyway to deliver the same speech of regrets she gave Harvey.

Donna changed her attire – beautiful long-sleeved asymmetrical cobalt dress replaced with plain white top, gray cardigan and beige high-waisted trousers, her hair tied in messy bun, no sign of makeup on her face. As bitter as it is to think about the woman who eventually kind of _won _Harvey from her, redhead has something that men dream of. Hard to pinpoint, thing not based solemnly on appearance as on… Self-confidence? The sheer of life satisfaction she glisten with? Deep kind of understanding for people? Paula always thought she was one of women that had these aspects, well, now unfortunately she is nowhere near her previous certainty.

"Donna… I wanted to – "

"No need Paula, it's fine. I don't hold grudges. _Usually_. Okay, at least not for long," she snickers, putting her palm on her hip. "There isn't many people on my blacklist and you're not one of them."

"Oh… I'm not sure I want to know what people who are did," the blonde forces herself to put on half smile, yet she doesn't feel like joking around at all. She might swear she is on blacklists of few individuals already and it rather hurts.

"No, I don't think so," Donna shakes her head slightly as she moves toward the kitchen area. Paula's cellphone makes a _ping_ and she fishes it from her pocket, bowing her head to read the text.

"Hey, really? I thought I end up on this list at least once a day," Harvey teases, sending his partner side smirk she gracefully accepts over her shoulder.

"No Harvey, for ones like you there is _idiotlist_. Yours and Louis's records are similar, but the two of you always stay on the podium."

"Who's third?"

"Out of sentiment, I have this place signed for Mike."

"So I'm the number one?"

"You don't have to be the number one everywhere, Mister."

_You are for me_, he mouths holding hazel stare with his chocolate pupils. The smile that cracks her mocking expression speaks _love, love, love_ and warm emotion spreads over his body.

Donna dares swift glance in blonde's direction, not wanting to be caught during intimate moment again. As she is engrossed with writing a message, redhead mouths him back. _I love you too_.

Sweet seconds passed, he answers her previous words as he gets up to help her in the kitchen. "I'm offended."

"You were supposed to be." She puts few containers out of the paper bag, their dinner still satisfactory warm. Her nose is filled with delicious smells of Panang Curry, Chili Basill stir fired chicken, Pad Pong Karee with seafood and Mixed Entrée of rolls, what makes her stomach rumble. They both chuckle on her eagerness to dive into food.

Paula straightens, not aware of what has happened in front of her, but notices the lightness of their banter. It makes awful contrast to the text she has just received, pain and sadness washing over her in colossal wave. Her abdomen twists in ache, she's readying herself to speak her story, when she hears –

"You want to eat with us? There's plenty, we always order more than we are able to eat."

"No, thank you. I'm not hungry at all."

Donna's forehead creases on the tone of her voice. "But you sounds like you need a drink though."

"I've come by car," she says quietly and Specter-Paulsen couple shares Specter-Paulsen look.

Harvey grabs two glasses and pours dark red wine inside as Donna takes their food to the coffee table. _Time to bite the bullet, _she ponders, setting the containers on and sitting on the armchair closer to the fireplace. She wished to spend this evening in one hundred eighty degrees different way, yet she is proud of herself for calmness she presents. The level of maturity that might have not been there if she – they – wouldn't go through what she has been through three weeks ago. Giving her boyfriend's ex second chance when she comes in time of need seems fair considering how objectively easy she get away with the mess she created. Way to pay off her debts toward the universe?

Significant role also plays peace that Harvey gave her by confessing to Paula out loud he consider her by his side, next to him not only in the terms of work, but also _home _and _life_. He has nothing to hide and neither has Donna, so there is no need to walk around and mark her territory like a wild animal. She knows how much she means to him and doesn't feel threaten by blonde's presence, so she can actually put her guard down and listen to the story she's going to provide.

As her eyes follow Harvey's movements, she thinks she's proud of him too. For not jumping straight to the conclusions with whatever angst or bitterness he might explode with, for not rushing the other woman too quickly to tell what she's doing here, for making her participate in this even if he doesn't have to.

"So? Let's get over this," he says as he sits next to his present girlfriend… and maybe future wife.

"It's a really long story and it's quite complicated, I am not sure what parts should I spare you…" Paula starts, feeling terribly uncomfortable. Whole scenery resembles her of a couple therapy session – which she never gave by the way – but distorted in some cruel mirror, her being the patient and her former client ex-boyfriend and woman who he chosen over her being counselors.

"It doesn't matter, if you want us to help you, we gonna need the whole truth. Do not omit something just because it sounds bad, after all you wouldn't be there if it already wasn't pretty shitty," Donna comments, separating chopsticks, but her attention focused on Paula.

"How can you know?"

"I took a wild guess, it's usually right."

"It is. Ugh, okay," the blonde lets out and it goes on Harvey's nerves.

_Can you finally stop bullshiting us and tell what the hell are you doing here? How long is this fucking preamble gonna last for fuck's sake? _He has been patient enough, he cut her some slack but this farce has to end. Now. As if Donna was reading his mind (no Harvey, she has been reading just your facial expression), she shifts her leg so their knees touch and he stops himself from shouting his thoughts.

"It may sounds for you as I made up that story, but… in the beginning of the fall I.. met a guy," Paula manages to say, feeling completely ashamed with herself. Part of her dignity is already devasted, so she has nothing to lose, right? "His name is Lucas, it was totally random. I was in the bookstore looking for a book a friend of mine published back then and when I picked it up, he asked me if it's worth reading. We started to talk, he seemed to be genuinely interested in clinical psychology – that's what the book was about. Then he asked me out and eventually I agreed."

_Okay, if it starts as some movie scenario, it's gonna be massive crap,_ crosses Donna's mind as she chews on her stir fired chicken. She casts look at Harvey, who is sipping his wine and seems to be not bothered by his ex's story. He looks almost bored, actually.

Paula, at the other hand, swallows hard, her eyes go misty for a moment, but she gathers herself soon.

"Long story short, one date led to another and we started to be couple. He was perfectly fine, he had… has nice job in IT, owns his place. He was in separation with his wife, who cheated on him because he was working hard for his family and 'didn't give her enough time'. I could relate to what he has been going through and I thought - isn't it how people always explain themselves for cheating? Anyway, he has seven years old daughter and her mother was limiting their time together during their separation. I felt sorry for him, he seemed to be hurting, he spoked so proudly of this girl."

Harvey shifts, leaning more into seatback and bringing some rolls with himself as he made a break from eating curry. Lack of integrity, family issues, suffering child. He knows the pattern himself all too good.

"Quickly I grew… fond of him. He seemed to be very interested in me, in my job. He were saying he always appreciated the knowledge of mind and that he tried to read some psychology books, but he lacked the abilities to understand it. I find it flattering to watch his exactment for my field and I was happy to talk to him. We were close, spending… lovely time together. I was… dumbfounded with how much attention he was giving me, how involved in our relationship he was. For a while, I was living on cloud nine…"

At that point Donna is already sure the man has to be some sort of con artist. He had to have greater interest in relationship with Paula, that goes without saying. What she can notice as well is the fact, how much emphasis the blonde lays on his focus on her… It actually makes sense to redhead, after being dumped by Harvey – she deserved that, but whatever – she probably needed to feel recognized and this Lucas filled that role. The question is though, what was he up to? What has he done to her?

"When it came to psychology, he was still mostly interested in clinical staff – anxiety, neuroticism, depression. Especially the last one… I let him use my library, since it's not like these books are being forbidden from normal audience… Last week, after six months of us being the couple, I've been called as a deponent in his divorce case, I guessed as his partner. He wasn't happy about that, I could tell, because, he 'didn't want to involve me in his unfinished business', but I said it was okay, I wanted to help so his wife wouldn't take a custody from him on grounds that he works too much and he is not capable of taking care of a child he almost doesn't know."

Paula is talking with her eyes fixed on the fireplace, not daring to observe their reaction to her words. She doesn't want to know what she may find there: ridicule, indifference, pity?

Donna puts away her half empty container and locks her gaze with Harvey's. The boredom that she has seen there a while ago is gone, replaced with suspicion. Both of them have met so many shady people during their work in law firm that spotting next one is child's play. They can sense that up to this point it was calm before the storm, the worst part yet to come.

"Yesterday I took the stand ready to give one of the most convincing speeches I have ever given. I was asked about our relation and my profession and it seemed that some part of their case was relied on it and that my judgement as a person qualified in human psychology should hold greater consideration. I was trying to prove what a caring man he is, how highly he spoke of his daughter, how compassionate nature he has because of his interest in my field… I don't know what happened here, but something must have clicked in mind of the other attorney, he requested break before his turn to asked me questions. It bothered me as well as change in Lucas's behavior, he started to fidget and whisper something nervously to his lawyer…"

"After the break his wife's attorney asked me again about my work. What therapy school I studied in, how long I have been practicing, if I had some troubles in my career. He asked me how much I knew about circumstances that led to this divorce and I told him the truth. He looked me thoroughly and I've started to sense I miss something in that story. He asked me what Lucas's main interest in psychology was, I answered and just then he told me that…" her voice breaks, she shifts her arms, crossing them in front of herself, half hugging, half closing her posture. Tears shine in her eyes and despite lack of fondness Donna feels toward this woman, she predicts what she is about to say and cannot stop her emotional side from hurting too.

The pause Paula makes hangs in the room, no other sounds then their breaths and fake cracking wood noise.

Eventually, not entirely sure she is going to continue, Donna presses her, "And what did he say?"

"That I was helping Lucas worsen mental state of his wife, he was gathering information how to play her illness against her and how to take away her custody. His wife didn't cheat on him, she has been suffering from high-functionating depression since their daughter was born. He was gaslighting her each time he had a chance, he was manipulating their daughter to turn her against her mother. He didn't want to say too much, but it was enough. Minutes before I was still thinking I am helping my partner win a fair share of custody, not take it completely from his suffering wife… I've never felt so hurt as I did yesterday and I think it was visible, because after I finished I was let out of the courtroom to breathe in some fresh air," as if someone turned Paula off, somewhere in the middle of the monologue her voice grew detached, yet her blue orbs are still covered by sheer of salty water.

"After the hearing I managed to contact the psychiatrist of this woman and after, well, begging he finally **not told** me about her case. Although he told me about some patient **in a very similar situation **that I cannot share knowledge about to anyone, but I guess you are mine confessors now…" she laughs bitingly at herself.

"He told me how her depression started as a postpartum depression, she was left alone with newborn and couldn't cope with new responsibilities. It usually lessen and at some point, with adequate treatment even disappear but for her continued and then turned into regular depression. Her husband wasn't helping her, he was worsening her symptoms – criticizing her parenting methods, her household management skills… He was abusive and cruel and ugly. At some point she was starting having suicidal thoughts but on the surface, she was keeping herself together. She has someone to fight for, even if she used to think she is terrible mother. At some point Luc… her husband called her 'useless' and he filled divorce papers. It actually would do this woman some good if he didn't threaten her he would take away the kid from her. The rest of the story you already know and… I let this happen."

Harvey leans forward, his elbows on his knees, truly concerned with what he's hearing. Yes, he didn't like Paula anymore very much, yet she isn't bad person and he would never, ever wished anything like that to happen to her. He could only imagine how deeply betrayal of this man – no, _of this son of a bitch_, this shit, bastard, motherfucker – cut her inside. _What an asshole treats his wife and his partner like that? Manipulate all of them for his wicked goal? He should have never have a child in the first place, let alone any parental laws! _This scumbag doesn't deserve any rights and for Harvey this would do him justice. He would rip this guy apart with his bare hands if he had a chance, the amount of resent he has for this kind of dicks limitless. He feels his jaw tense even more as he wonders if his attorney knew everything about that damn story and worked for him anyway, because if it's true, he is same rotten jerk.

Harvey wants to say something, but just when he is about to, Donna's palm clasps upon his and she shakes her head slightly, telling him wordlessly it's not right moment to interject. Her face – full of pain for innocent souls that suffered by this shit – makes his heart skip a beat. He moves his fingers between hers, gives her light squeeze to soothe her worry a bit. She smiles melancholy back.

_It's not me who needs comfort here right now._

Paula turns abruptly, somehow out of her trance and looks at them with very sober, yet very wet eyes, her breath coming in sharp takes. What she sees is not what part of her expected, there's no hate or disgust, just surprise and solicitude. Donna extends her left hand towards her with napkins that were attached to chopsticks, mute offer of a consolation. The blonde chuckles sadly accepting them.

"Is there **any** legal way for me to help this woman? I feel **so terrible **for what I've been participating in, I wish I could make up for what I did at least partially… Keep them away and safe from Lucas," she almost chokes on that name.

Harvey doesn't have an immediate response for that, aware both women waiting for an answer. In his mind he rumbles through possible options, but doesn't find correct one.

"Everything this son of a bitch did was done in bad faith and I doubt the judge missed that. He also manipulated you, his wife and child. He caused her medical condition to worsen and that's could be consider as damage to helath. I bet he is going to pay for that already. As for this woman… I'm not sure is there anything you can do. Not in court. Not from the position that he put you in. But when this whole shit ends, maybe she would let you talk to her," he knows sometimes, when your hands are tied, the only way to do something is to ask for redemption.

"Paula, you **have to** know, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known that this **bastard** was using you," redhead speaks softly, trying to lessen the hurt she sees in front of her. "You are just a human."

"That's it, Donna! I'm not only human, I'm psychotherapist! I should know **something**," she exclaims, her anger directed to herself, not them. She takes long inhale, trying to calm her nerves before she will move to the second worst part. She cannot decide what makes her heart ache more.

"Before he let me go, her attorney called to my professional side, if I had even a shadow of a doubt that Lucas is too engrossed in our talks for a person who was not psychologist. And truth be told – I hadn't. Nothing ringed a bell inside me. I was living such a dream life for a half a year… I felt treasured, cared upon… as his priority. His interest in me clouded my judgement completely. I've been working with people for **years, **I've seen so many patterns of narcists. They always pretend to be charming and involved in life of the other person, but they do it only for personal gain… Now when I look at that, I see a thousand warning signs and I have no idea how could I missed that," she exhales painfully, shaking her head. "How am I supposed to believe in my judgement anymore?"

She meets their eyes, carefully avoiding making a glance at their intertwined fingers.

"He fooled me as if I knew nothing and now it may cost me my career."


	3. Chapter 3

For those who are still with me - sorry for such a long break, my life got crazy lately. I wish to tell you this chapter is mistakes free, but hahahah, believe me or not, I was writing it with one eye open. I also hope that characters are not OOC and you still like the idea of Paula being in troubles, because some more is about to come.

Also - I've got one, kind request. As a sucker for comments, I'd like to ask you to leave few words if you like the story (if you don't - I want to hear it even more!). Sometimes when I write I am questioning myself - _do they actually like it or it's a crap? _So yeah, guys, just looking for answers.

This time I can actually promise you a bit of action (and a lot of stalling, girl, come ooon, why the hell you write like that?!). And curses. You like curses? I do.

Enjoy your ride and remember that I _love, love, love_ you :)

* * *

_She meets their eyes, carefully avoiding making a glance at their intertwined fingers._

"_He fooled me as if I knew nothing and now it may cost me my career."_

_Damn, so here it is. I knew there was some hidden agenda behind the unfortunate story. She never was the one to go straight to the matter_, crosses Harvey's thoughts and he can't help himself, his hand rises to massage his eyes and forehead. It's probably not the most reassuring gesture, but honestly – he was sure she could look for this kind of legal advice from someone else and there was second problem laying underneath. He wonders if it's the right time to regret dating her after all – in another universe he might be in the middle of amazing sex with his favorite redhead, not playing some sort of therapist.

Harvey notices Donna shifting, her back hits the seatback and her expression becomes inscrutable. For less experienced observer (okay, for someone who isn't hyperaware of her being) she may seem as if she got uncomfortable sitting in the same position for a while, but he is not one of them. The change in her body language disturbs him, but he cannot put his finger on what exactly caused that. She wasn't judging Paula for what she unconsciously did and yet, the mentioning of her probable work issues, made Donna create more space between them. Her head is a bit tilted and her eyes are wary, he can say she's doing _the_ _Donna thing _(he's proud he learned to pick it up) for whatever reasons she may have.

But come on, what's so complicated? The guy is psycho and Harvey would be actually surprised if he wouldn't done some crazy shit to her too. He knows modus operandi of such lunatics and despite years that passed since he worked in DA's office, he can still recall two or tree similar cases he was responsible for early in his career. He is about to ask Paula straight away what this enigmatic confession means, when he hears Donna's voice.

"What did he do?" redhead inquires, withdrawing her hand from his grip and setting her bend elbow on the armrest, her chin resting on the palm.

He shoots her questioning look, but she just blinks meaningfully. Slowly and longer than needed, as if she's sending him some kind of message, but he doesn't know what information it carries. After all, the context isn't clear, he is not mind reader as her.

"After the hearing I waited a bit and I approached Lucas…" Paula's voice is tired, she dries corners of her eyes with her thumbs and napkins. "I needed to ask him if everything I heard there was true, because I couldn't believe that man who was so affectionate toward me, might have hurt his family like that. I wished him to tell me it's not true, that I misunderstood the whole situation."

"He tried to twist everything around but this time I didn't buy it. We got into fight, he said many… many hurtful things about me," she hesitates, not sure if she should recall literally everything. She doesn't really want to remember that but these words are already engraved in her mind, so she may get them out of the system at least... "How lucky I should be he looked at me twice, how easy I was to manipulate and what a shitty therapist I am for not noticing his doings. He added some whores here and there. I yelled at him that he makes me sick and he's rotten to the core and to go to hell. He laughed at me cruelly, it was like watching completely different person."

It gives Donna an idea and opportunity to steer the conversation in only her known direction.

"You remember Hooth's case?" she asks, turning slightly into his side. The corner of his eye twitch, silent question about her plan.

She just repeats the previous blink.

_I know what I'm doing. _

Or at least he guesses it means so, because any other explanation doesn't fit. It triggers his curiosity, what bigger picture that is beyond his abilities she sees.

"Of course I do, the dick psychiatrist wrote the expertise in his mad language and we spend like two hours encoding that. Using the book I _borrowed_ from the Columbia University Library."

Despite her best efforts to contain the urge, she has to make a little bit fun of him. "You mean the book you _stole_ from Library and I had to encode the expertise, because all words you understood were _patient_, _is_ and _diagnosed_? Cause I'm not sure we talk about the same thing."

"Hey, I _did_ get it back. And I wouldn't have to gain access to it this way if the librarian was doing his job."

"He was probably in the bathroom, Harvey."

"And I had a trial coming on, some cryptic bunch of papers to go through **and** I needed to assign my own expert on the case. I didn't have time for his bathroom breaks."

"It's nice, you don't disagree you weren't able to comprehend the medical report even with the help of the lexicon," she smiles at him innocently, aware he cannot argue on that matter.

"Your point?" he rolls his eyes, still not convinced why she decided to mention that.

"Opposite side attorney should request medical opinion upon his behavior. If they prove his instability, there's no way in hell he's gonna get the custody," redhead comments, using the reference to mentioned case.

"Yes, but if his wife isn't collected enough in judge's eyes, he might order as well her mental state checking, which is going to be affected by the divorce going on and might not turn out in her favor. She can lose her daughter and this dick is not going to hear criminal charges for what he did if he's gonna be labeled as a madman. And that's what his lawyer will try pull off," he states matter-of-factly, changing his mind upon earlier statement.

"He might be put into psychiatric ward and be separated from society as well. Isn't it worth the shot? You managed to do the same with Hooth."

"I'm me," he prolongs last word with cocky grin, "not everybody is so talented."

This time Donna rolls her eyes, shaking her head additionally, but it gives her a chance to inspect blonde's reaction. Or rather the lack of it, as her expressionless face is turned to the side and her eyes are scanning the living room without concrete pattern. Is she still reliving those events? Or her attention is scattered because of the reason Donna suspects?

"What about the mother?"

Donna hesitates, searching for words that will make the poor woman a justice. "Even though she may not pass the medical exam with flying colors, she was the one to take care of the child up to this point, right? Actually, as far as we know, she was the only person who cared about the girl from the beginning, despite her own problems. She deserves rights to her baby. Maybe getting a guardian to check on them from time to time will be enough for the judge."

"I'm sorry, when did you get a law degree? I see you writing closing speech already," he chuckles over his partner, but there is tender note in his voice, he's proud of her clever approach.

Donna shrugs it nonchalantly, yet from where he is sitting he sees her side smirk. She crosses one leg upon another, her toes caressing his left calf close to the floor. "I've been working with you for past fourteen years, Harvey. One Ross's precedence and I might get into the BAR myself."

"A – it hasn't been fourteen years yet. And B – now when you said that, I doubt they gonna get anyone from SLWW in ever again. Probably not our fans anymore," Harvey makes _ooops_ face, light remark on heavy memory.

Theoretically he's wrong, because BAR Ethic Board cannot estimate somebody's moral nature solemnly on the firm he or she is working in. However – if it's ever going to happen again (God forbid), there is a huge chance they are going to agreed upon a decision even before the hearing will start. Specter Litt Wheeler Williams has its reasons to not be public's opinion first choice.

Changing names as socks, Mike's prison sentence, Jessica's disbarment and now Robert's… They needed their A game before and after the storm they have been through lately, they have to keep crystal clear look more than ever. All of them spent over two weeks fighting to stay afloat and they are going to protect the firm by any means. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but leaves you wounded nonetheless. And they don't need more of them.

But Donna predicts Paula's presence presages just that.

"Speaking of falling off of good graces – where did he reported you to?"

Her eyes widen and she takes surprised inhale, definitely not expecting redhead to call on her like that.

"How did you know?"

She tilts her head on the other side and makes exasperated expression. "Why everybody keep asking that? I'm Donna. It's sufficient answer." She sways that witted skull of hers to stress her words. "Now, Paula, I don't want to be rude – since you're coming here looking for help, but I've got sense where's that going and I'd better be wrong this time. I doesn't happen often, but sometimes it does."

This. That's the connection he couldn't grasp. Well, eventually he would, but of course not so quick as her. And probably with less composure, strong words or irritation would dance on his lips for sure. No, Donna needs only her attentional tone, which is not even threatening and everybody listens to her. The joke she's real managing partner, not Louis? Sometimes it's hard to believe otherwise, especially when she is being that cognizant and foreseeing self. What he wonders is… Did she know what he's going to say and manipulated the whole tease to make him brought the topic or was that just mere coincidence? Not surprisingly, he has an inkling for the former.

"So?" he pushes, further showing his ex he shares the front line with Donna.

"Er…" she clears her throat, caught off guard as she has been seen through. "He told me I'm going to regret my words… And," she bites her lip as if she's trying to choose correct words, "yesterday's afternoon I got writ from APA Ethical Committee, stating that they are expecting me tomorrow at noon. Of course I've got worried, instantly reached to my mentor, she knows more people and I asked her if she can investigate what this is about. It took her a while, but she managed to tell me today that Lucas was the one who let the Committee know and they has been looking into the case for week or so, despite the fact it's total lie." Her voice turned to aggravation at some point.

"You omitted the part what he had on you, so spill."

The sad, hurting impression of Paula is gone and she snaps at him. "What do you think he has? He wrote the letter in where he proclaims I have been intentionally helping him manipulate his wife, that I was teaching him how to worsen her mental state, how to break her… That he is disgusted I proposed that for him and he fell for me and this is why he did things he regrets now and he wish to make up for his mistakes! He literally threw at me same false accusations his wife's lawyer did!"

The couples foreheads crease almost in unison and she muses bitterly how much they are made for each other, sarcasm dripping from the thought. She's being the victim here, how does _she _dare to speak to her in such a manner?! _He's no better!_ Paula's lips tighten into straight line and hours of self-talks, roleplays and _forgiving _she done to get over the last year's situation are slipping away, leaving her bare, with still aching cuts.

"You just go to court, grab the damn transcript from the hearing and prove them you haven't done anything. If you were so emotional as you were saying that they let you out of the room, it has to be written down. Done, you have a proof. No big deal, " he responds plainly, moving his hand in the air to emphasize his answer.

Something clicks in Donna's mind, the final puzzle settling into a place and now everything makes sense. The realization makes this sick feeling rush to her stomach all over again, but this time it feels ten times more indignant than before.

"But it wouldn't be enough, would it?" she locks her hazel eyes – now turning darker shade of brown – with blue ones, disbelief mixing with distrust in her tone. "Because you may get away pretty easy with that, but you're afraid they found other thing you have on yours conscience, one that you're actually guilty about."

"If you're asking me if there is something to loom large in my mind – no, it's not."

"Oh but it actually** is** illegal to date your patient?" Donna's eyebrow curves and she challenges her.

"What the hell?" he curses, his gaze shifting between women and his jaw tense.

"Want to talk about crimes? You hid up a fraud, covered his tracks, even made him a lawyer! You've got no rights to question me!" she shouts, throwing daggers at them.

Redhead's expression becomes sour but before she has a chance to say something, her boyfriend speaks up and she keeps her mouth closed. For now.

"You've chosen to be questioned the **second **you decided I'm your solution, so tell the hell up what you're doing here or you know where the goddamn door is!"

Paula sighs as if they were going on her nerves and it makes Harvey's blood boil. He swears, he would rather go mudding and watch the ballet with Louis than look at infuriating false smugness she wears, seemingly gathering herself for what's be said.

_If she wants the war, she's gonna get the fucking war._

"Okay, I'm do–"

"You know what, Harvey?!" she gets up from her position. "I have no idea how you became _the best closer in the city_," she mocks his famous statement, "– as you and your Mount Everest ego like to call yourself – when you can't even find the correct information in APA's regulations. The waiting period was not a year, but two years," she gestures expressively to underline last three words. "I had the sense something was wrong but when I checked it was already to late to tell you."

"If you knew anything about me back then, you would know it's never to late to tell me."

"And what? I would have to tell you that if we continue seeing each other my license might be in jeopardy. You would try to find the way around it and failed and throw this pathetic 'I'm sorry, Paula' and that would be it!"

_But you had no problem to tell him that if we kept working together your vain relationship was not going to survive?_ Donna snorts internally. _She has some serious issues herself._

"I see you were also not against laying to me–," he begins aggressively, also standing up, "when you were saying that you believed in me! And for your knowledge, there would be nothing easier than sweeping it under the carpet. I had and have rights to withdraw every data you are supposed to archive on my account for two decades into the future. It would be a child's play – I'd burnt those files, you couldn't maintain any copy, we wouldn't say a word to anyone about previous arrangement. Done!"

It makes Paula's anger halt.

"You still could do that?"

"Yes, the question is – why would I?"

"My work's at stake, isn't it obvious?!" and as fast as it was on hold, that fast rage is running loose again. "You owe me that, don't you think?!"

"I don't owe you shit!" he seriously can't believe his ears. If he would talk to another man, he would consider punching him to his face.

"Years before you came to me demanding I would lie for you under the oath, then you humiliated me on the hearing and then you still ventured to ask for my help. I did help you. You **owe** me!"

"And how is that connected to your damn case?"

"If they found out we were together during that time they would take away my reputation **and **my license. You have to help me cover this up or everything I worked for my entire life would be gone. And this would be on you!" she crosses her hands over her chest, her brows furrowed.

_Knock, knock, bitch – karma's back! _Pissed off thought swirls in Donna's mind and she doesn't stop it anymore. The blacklist? Well damn, she's sure as hell is on it now.

"What did you just fuckin' say to me?" He clenches and unclenches his fists. "You purposefully broke that damn rule of yours to make your sorry as less alone!"

"If you wouldn't came to my place and asked me out, I wouldn't even been there!"

"No Paula, you wouldn't been there if you kept a bit of civility in yourself!" the redhead finally takes the floor and she rises up from her sitting position. She's so done with this woman.

Donna was a witness to many of Harvey's one night or one week stands and it didn't really bother her. She knew and respected Zoe. She knew and – despite the fact they didn't start on right foot – tried to be helpful with Scottie. They even have friendly relationship now, Dana wishing them getting together few weeks prior. But Paula? As for someone who should be the last conflictive one or at least the more understanding, she does great job at being the biggest pain in the ass from Harvey's past.

Being human is bounded to making errors and that's fine. It's one thing to want to date your patient – ex or current no difference – and completely another one to actually do that, screw all the regulations stating otherwise. The therapy is a process where the position of strength and control is undoubtedly in therapist hands, no matter how much he or she tries to make it look more even. The patient is always depended at some level on the diagnostic, relies on his or her help and it's one way street, it simply cannot change. That's the exact reason why any romantic relation shouldn't start from those grounds – the power exchange will never be shared equally, one insight on another full and second almost none. It's supposed to be partnership, not some weird therapy accommodation with sex. Yet the safeness patients associate with their therapists often fools them to believe they are in love with them and it's the clinicians job to help them get over that.

To make things worse, it seems Paula has her own load of problems and Donna can't deny it is what clouded her judgement so many times. To agree to date someone who is clearly involved in someone else? To agree to date someone who she knows has commitment issues? To agree to date the ex-patient she knows she can lost license for? As it wouldn't be enough there is of course threatening her work and being totally tricked by a psycho as well.

"And behave as a professional who doesn't have ethic showed up deep in her ass," redhead proceeds, her features marked by calm fury. "Or maybe you were trying to compensate yourself something because all you could focus in Lucas was how much attention he gave you and how much he adored you. I don't care which way it went, but you ignored all the red signs during your ride up to this moment and the only person you should accuse of that is you! You even said it yourself, you have some memory issues as well?"

Paula turns in her direction with irises looking too blue for her liking and gasps bitterly. "It's laughable you consider yourself as a someone who has any saying in that," she narrows her eyes. "Only because he made you a COO, doesn't mean you carry any knowledge how to make things done. It's between me and Harvey."

In her periphery vision Donna spots him gritting his teeth soundlessly and his posture becomes taut as if he were going to kick her out of the door by himself. Right now. She can't let him have that, not until she will show this _bitch_ where is her place. After that she doesn't care if he will throw her from the roof or under the bus.

She knows he doesn't want her to fight his battles for him but this time Paula tried to underestimate **her** again and she crossed the line. Wearing her most confident look (what's not especially hard since she's being driven both by her anger and need to win) Donna passes his body, gently caressing his middle as she does so. It's supposed to calm him down and he gets the notion.

"Listen to me," she steps in front of her rival. "I will **not** dwell on your inability to choose right partners because I can see your self esteem already being nonexistent," hazel eyes scan her form from head to toes, " and you **don't** kick the woman when she's down, but," she gets closer to her, the height difference still noticeable despite the lack of her high heels, "I'm not going to let you talk **crap** about me anymore," her jaw sets.

The blonde's face softened for a second at the mention of her choices and value and Donna knows she hit the nerve.

"It's pretty evident you felt threaten by me **then and still are**, if you have to reach for such lame arguments, but that's not the point. I **love** my job and for past years only **once** I put myself first and I suffered consequences of my decision, just as you're going to. And I couldn't care **less** if you consider him owing you something or not, because if the world got to know what you ask him to hide, his integrity would be **gone** just as yours and it would affect **our firm** and **I'm not gonna** have this happening."

Their gazes lock and tension is palpable.

"And you should be glad I'm talking to you as a COO, because if I would that as his girlfriend? You might be also explaining tomorrow how you've got the bruise under your eye," Donna finishes and sends her knavish smile.

Before Paula finds it in herself to respond to blunt declaration she's just heard, Harvey moves to stand beside Donna, his face hopping mad. "You shitted the bed, your problem is how you gonna clean it, I'm not going to be a part of it. Comparing your license to our firm business is not a choice. So in conclusion – get the hell out of our home, you know where the door is. You're on your own."

They watch her as her lips open and close few times (which strangely resembled dying fish as Donna will say to Rachel in next facetime) and she is searching for something to counter their words, but she doesn't find anything suitable and only sends them a death glare. As enraged as it is humanly possible, she picks up her belongings and storms toward the entrance. She will never forget how they left her high and dry in need. Paula swallows thickly, feeling hot, angry tears gathering under her half-closed eyelids. If Donna wouldn't been here she could probably talk Harvey into helping her, maybe use his licentiousness against him. Sex is known to work on men like him just fine.

"And Paula?" his voice calls behind her. She stops in her track, her hand on the doorknob and turns slightly, seeing him standing close to the kitchen area. He was following her with his sight.

"Don't you fucking dare to come here ever again."

Her face creases more and she opens the door with too much force than necessary.

"Fuck you," she vociferates, looking straight at him.

"We will," he comments, an actual cocky smile on his face, the expression of the winner.

The only answer she leaves is the noise of the slamming door.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry I'm late *me to every class, every lecture, every meeting with friends and every chapter ever*

I hope that even after such a long break, you still remember what happend last time I posted?

Okay, long story short: Paula's a two-faced bitch. But not sly enough, so Darvey duo made her go where she came from (probably very crappy psychotherapeutical school indeed). Time for cozy evening, right? You'll see, my dears :)

As always, I'm gonna apologize for all the mistakes, but you know by now that I'm not a grammar master :')))

I have to give a credit for this chapter to a special person - **Nay**, without you, your support, your kindness and your insight I don't know how would I make it. (Probably even later, more painfully and without consideration on few matters, so you know girl, you're godmother to this fic.)

As for my last words before I'll let you go - I would like to thank you for all the comments you leave, it's so gratifying for a writer. So, me. Yeah. Have a nice read. :)

* * *

"_And Paula?" his voice calls behind her. She stops in her track, her hand on the doorknob and turns slightly, seeing him standing close to the kitchen area. He was following her with his sight. _

"_Don't you fucking dare to come here ever again."_

_Her face creases more and she opens the door with too much force than necessary. _

"_Fuck you," she vociferates, looking straight at him._

"_We will," he comments, an actual cocky smile on his face, the expression of the winner._

_The only answer she leaves is the noise of the slamming door. _

When he spins around on his heels, his eyes instantly trace his girlfriend's back and he watches her finishing her drink in one, big gulp. She sighs, sets the glass back on the coffee table and reaches for his share.

"_Whoa_, you may want to slow down. You always get headache if you drink wine too fast."

"I've already had a damn migraine. Might at least have a great reason for that."

"Like what – she wasn't enough?" he tries to joke for sake of cracking up the nervous atmosphere.

The flames of anger licking his blood moments before quench as his temper settles down. It feels damn good to screw Paula after her try to bullshit them, bullshit him into covering her ass. Okay, he is not an ethic angel himself, yet being in a similar situation he didn't dare to risk someone else's integrity. Not by his own choice, at least.

How would it look if he agreed and she would get caught on lying? Even more shady than he already does in world's eyes and he cannot have that as the name partner. The firm finally swam on calm waters and he is not going to let it sink again. Every person with a bit of common sense would tell her to kiss their ass.

The awareness Paula was send to hell by his fierce redhead pacifies his insides, proudness replacing agitation. He was a witness to her badass skills many times, but since she has became COO and improved them even more, he doesn't have a chance to watch them as they usually work apart and all he gets is to hear about them. Formerly he might blow a fuse over her fighting his battles, though this time he didn't mind her taking the lead. Partially because he couldn't swear he won't cross the line and do something he may regret later and partially because he understood the source of her protectiveness and Donna deserved to show Paula her place as she tried to take a swing at her. Twice. Once because he was an idiot who almost allowed his girlfriend kick out of his life his work partner, his best friend… his true lover.

Donna turns around, finds his gaze and the smirk he has wears off.

"Too soon?"

She rolls her eyes and grasps the thin leg of the vessel, deciding upon consuming his portion of alcohol as well. The beverage tastes heavy on her tongue and her eyelids close on their on volition. She savors the flavor for a moment before returning to the reality.

The mix of emotions she feels is unwelcome: commotion and disbelief, wrath and slight hurt. Despite not having particular affection toward Paula, she really tried to extend an olive branch (they are grownups after all), yet she decided to spit on it and smash it under her shoe. However, the thing that bothered redhead the most was complete lack of ashamedness regarding her demand. Yes, she was embarrassed that Lucas manipulated her and that Donna has seen through her ploy, but (soon to be ex?) psychotherapist did not consider her next actions inappropriate. The attitude of this woman… Maybe it would do some good to the world (and her patients) if she would lost her license.

_She topped Gibbs for a Bitch of the Decade title. _

"Donna?"

She doesn't hear his call, to engrossed in her own musings and cleaning up the table. After picking up discarded chopsticks, napkins and glasses, she makes her way to the kitchen, throwing garbage into the trash can and putting other things into dishwasher, including their morning coffee mugs.

Seeing Paula so shaken and listening to her story, at some point Donna seriously started to believe she came to Harvey's looking for a solution to this poor woman's case. The matter was delicate and kid was involved, lost in the middle – between mother fighting the disease and unstable father with narcistic tendencies. Would that tale caught her so off guard in different circumstances? Donna suspects the reason why she fell into Paula's trap is that her focus lost fixation on the issue and she become too engaged in her boyfriend's reaction for a while. Actually a pretty natural thing when someone's in a relationship, but she feels she should have foreseen that.

The thing is though – she understood Harvey's aggravation, he hates when children's well-being is at stake. Back in DA's times, she knew when he was coming to work tired after sleepless night not because he was playing cards or with women, but because he tried to come up with the best tactics to save the innocents. She didn't sass him these days so much and he was getting fresh coffee before he noticed he finished previous one. Although cases like that only proved his _carrying makes you weak _motto more true and made her job as his emotional compass harder.

She shakes her head to herself, starting a program in the kitchen device.

"Donna?" he says her name again, leaning against the side of the counter separating kitchen from the hallway. She doesn't even flinch as if his voice suddenly became inaudible.

_Years of studies and that bitch couldn't recognize psycho in front of her, but she had no problem to hit Harvey's soft spot for broken families. _

Donna walks to the table, takes unfinished containers and puts them in the fridge. Together they may earn figures many people can only dream of, but being raised in not so wealthy families, they are opposed to getting rid of food that can be easily reheated and taste as the day before. Also – having Thai for breakfast still feels like guilty pleasure, even if they are not in their twenties anymore.

_I can't believe she had the audacity to use someone's tragedy to soften us_. _What monster does that?_

It's the same shady league of tricks as Travis Tanner, Andrew Malik or Daniel Hardman pull out of their sleeves each time the opportunity arise. As if she hadn't done enough trouble already, dating her ex-patient and intentionally ignoring the consequences it may create, leaving Harvey unfair ultimatum and **now** consciously risking his reputation to cover for her mistakes. Accusing her of getting promotion she didn't deserve was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

_Jesus, Paula doesn't have any limits, both in personal and professional life._

"Donna?" he tries more insisting, concern written all over his face. He observes her rearranging products in the fridge to fit there leftovers.

Their communication has been getting better as they were growing more into the new relationship, but this kind of visit would disturb even the most settled couples. And though years they spent side by side taught him a few methods to gauge her mood – clearly none of them are fruitful this time. The only thing he can establish is it has been long since he had seen her focused so deep inside. Her expression is neutral, she's not biting her lip nor keeping herself from grimace as he would expect. It actually doesn't bid well, her thoughts could be going thousand miles a second and who knows what she can come up with? Silent Donna is analyzing Donna and he can almost hear tribes turning in that beautiful mind of hers, completely unnecessarily. Paula's gone and she'd better stay that way.

Donna blinks twice, a new idea forming on the tip of her tongue.

_What if it's not even real? What if this whole Lucas scheme is just it? A scheme? _

It sounds like too much even for her, but before today's evening's events redhead wouldn't even think she would have balls to come claim a favor after everything she did and here they are. The complexity of the story was startling and it would take a hell lot of work to made it up. Although something feels off about the incident. Kind of far-fetched is it? Or maybe it's her too exaggerated behavior?

She closes the steel door and turns around, coming face to face with Harvey, mere inches between them.

"_Fuck_, Harvey!" she exclaims, totally surprised by his presence. She reaches with her palm to the heart. "Don't scare me like that ever again!" she scrunches her nose.

"I called your name three times already," he scans her face, searching for any signs of… well, anything. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she answers automatically and that's not exactly a lie. She's fine, just confused and upset and can't stop to wreck her head over the damn situation. So, maybe not so fine after all. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

His gaze swiftly shifts to the side and he considers his options. He might tell her _it's nothing _and shrug whole thing off or go with some sexy banter and finish what they started in front of his door. Or he might break silence curse casted upon them thirteen years ago and act on the problem at hand as they promised themselves they will do. The second option looks the most tempting though…

"Are you mad at me or something?" he states out of blue.

She frowns and using the small space separating their bodies, smooths his shirt by gentle caress. "No, why would I?"

He wraps his arms around her, the move already a habit. "I don't know, you seemed to be somewhere else and I wondered if you are angry with me for her coming here," he simply says, but there is some uneasiness in his features, she feels the sudden need to sooth.

"You couldn't have known."

"I couldn't have known you gonna be mad for leaving laundry on the floor and yet – you were."

_Always a wuss._ She rolls her eyes at him. "Only because you have cleaning lady doesn't mean you have to add to her work, you know where laundry baskets are."

"Are? You mean there is more than one?" he feigns shock, making small circles on her hips with thumbs. Of course he knows there is more of them, like… three? Blacks, whites and colors? He won't admit that if she will ever ask, but he's going to check that later.

She gives him _you're-impossible_ look, shaking her head slightly but corners of her lips are tugging upward. "I know you're gonna check this later."

"I plead the fifth," he murmurs and rests his forehead on hers. "So what were you thinking?"

"Why do you seem to be so unaffected by all this?" she frowns, asking the question that kept nagging at her from the back of her head, when he first joked after his ex-girlfriend left. However her attention was on other contemplations then, she doesn't understand where his aloofness came from. More in character would be if he kept throwing swears at Paula or sat with scowl drinking whiskey or ranted about her arrogance or do whatever but not being this calm.

He leans back to look her in the eye, his typical smirk back. "I was fucking pissed off she made us listen to this crap and then being bitchy about the favor thing and think I'm gonna save her ass. But my sexy redhead screwed her off and there's no reason to be angry, when I can be turned on," he wiggles his brows suggestively, flashing her his best Cheshire Cat grin.

"I would say who you are and what you've done to Harvey Specter I know, but last part of a sentence actually fits," she comments as his words sink in. "Wait, what's going on with the favor think? You owe her?" she inquires, bewildered. Her hands slide to cross in front of her chest and she gives him disapproving expression.

"I've never said anything like that. She got wrong impression."

"And actually how did she get that?" Donna's eyebrows curve, she takes step back from his embrace and tilts her head. What Paula shouted to him reappear and it looks questionable enough.

"_Years before you came to me demanding I would lie for you under the oath, then you humiliated me on the hearing and then you still ventured to ask for my help. I did help you. You __**owe**__ me!"_

"What did you do Harvey?" she presses.

"Look, Donna–" he makes that motion she has been seeing for years, the gesture that has always irritate her splendidly and once he has done it, fall out was just the matter of seconds. That _you don't understand the circumstances the way I do, so keep it to yourself_ kind of move. She has never let it slide back then and she sure as hell is not going to start now.

"Oooh, no Mister, don't you Donna me. I know the kind of shit you can pull when you want to. What was it?" her nostrils widen, but she tries keep it low key.

Harvey can't help it as annoyed sigh escapes his mouth. He reaches behind himself and rests the palm over kitchen island, tiredness finally heaving on him.

"You seriously want to get worked up over something I did four years ago?"

"If you wouldn't put it like you actually **did** something, maybe I wouldn't, but yes – I do."

He does next face she greatly despises (_you being unnecessary fussy and pain in the ass) _and it takes everything in her not to strangle him. Harvey on the other hand wishes he could go back to her question number one and choose the option his gut was telling him to choose, so instead of another quarrel he would be having nice and steamy sex right now.

Honestly, if he wondered what was the reason they never broach the subject of her working for Louis, with his best efforts he wouldn't find more suitable answer. He has been dodging around her questions about his whereabouts during this time until she finally gave up and stopped asking them. It was one thing to have panic attacks because of her leaving and overstepping some ethical lines in the meantime, but it was completely other thing to make a conversation out of it, even if she knew he was seeing therapist.

"You wanna know? Okay. Long story short: she was a witness in the case of mine and was going to testify against my client, using the trust he had given her when he was coming to her on a therapy. It sucked and she was legally bounded to the firm she worked in to do that, yet I asked her to lie. She didn't so I fucked her credibility with a secret I won playing poker with her during an appointment. My client got arrested anyway, so I sought to her for files of other employees from that firm. This way I bluffed his way out of prison. The end," he added last part with a roll of his eyes.

Her face darkened. "And you don't consider yourself crossing the line?"

"As I told her then and as I'm going to tell you now – I did and I do but if I had to, I'd do this all over again without blinking an eye," his sight on her is stern. He shifts and puts his hands into pockets, this time his back leaning on the counter and he waits for the lecture that's going to follow.

What she has just heard is simply ridiculous. She knows his system inside out and is aware how skillfully he operates within the grey area, but what he did back then was too much. If Paula would reported him, he could have loose his license right that moment and most certainly any of them would be standing were they are. Donna glances at Harvey with her opinion ready to drop from her tongue, yet seeing him so expecting this, she closes her mouth before she gets real chance to open them.

She pretends it didn't throw her off and readjusts her hands on her chest.

"I see you have my part already prepared as well, so why don't you just go on and play whole goddamn show by yourself?"

"I'm not sure I got all lines straight. Also, should I say," he imitates her voice, "_Just because you don't regret doing something, it doesn't justify the act itself, Harvey_ like I'm mad and wanting to claw my eyes out or rather like I'm greatly disappointed in myself? It was not said in the script."

"Oh, it's because you can't read between the lines, honey. Let me help you with that," she fabricates helpful attitude and steps closer to him, but her gaze is nothing but irritated. "I believe it should be said as you've made hasty, stupid decisions that may had setback not only on you, but everyone around you and you didn't and don't give a shit about it. So yeah, try to make it both," she nods with fake toothy smile.

"How the hell would that affect anyone but me, huh?"

"You didn't think about it? What a surprise…" she snorts and now it's him who's getting worked up. "If she had a civility in herself as _she should have_, she would go and report you to the BAR and with little fantasy on her side – that I bet she had many but different kind – she would get you disbarred. Or if not she, someone else would, because you're not known to make friends but enemies in the world, Harvey. The second it happens, they would look into Mike and guess what? You both go to prison. And not for three months, that is for sure."

By the middle of her statement he was having prepared witty remark that would give him upper hand in the conversation and may finish it altogether, yet he has to drop it when she reaches last words. However he may want to claim he considered such scenario, the truth is it didn't even crossed his mind. He was solely focused on a case and whenever he admits it or not, proving Paula wrong after trying to pry confession about his mother played a part too.

Lying to Donna doesn't have any sense and he would rather not use that trick, so he has to approach the subject from different angle before that face _didn't-I-know-it?_ will settle on her permanently.

"It's raking over the ashes now. I knew she wouldn't and she didn't. What's the point in crying over split milk when it wouldn't been even out of fridge?" he pointed with his chin toward the device behind her.

"And how exactly were you so sure she won't?

"She tried to gamble confession about my mother out of me and when she lost, she told me real story about her fucking up. It meant she was up for some risk and all what needed to be done was to make her believe it was for greater good. It kinda was, but I wanted to win," here he is – the arrogant jerk she wish she didn't have to know. The man playing people as well as he is playing card games.

Donna briefly closes her eyelids, pieces of information she was given causing her confusion and disbelief to extend beyond the measure. Harvey never told her how those therapy sessions looked like, he never told her anything about them at all, yet she never imagined that sort of practice happening. No wonder Paula hadn't any problems sleeping with her ex patient when her work ethic sucked as much as her morals did. Still does, apparently.

"Did she had proper treating shoved up her ass through whole therapy or just a part?"

"What do you mean?"

"Poker playing, really? I'm sure dr. Lipschitz would congratulate her such behavior. Was it casual game or stripping poker?" huff escapes her lips, "I'd say good you dropped her, but the thing is – you didn't," she scoffs.

"What are you hinting at?" he asks louder than necessary in their silent surroundings.

"I will never understand why the hell you asked her out. She was your fucking therapist," Donna finds herself saying, half turning form him and her gaze wanders to the fireplace. Thinking about it still makes her sick.

Perhaps she shouldn't been saying that, the comment being an impulse she was holding way too long and couldn't resist voicing it now. Or maybe it is the highest time _someone_ addresses the elephant in the room that his relationship with Paula was.

"This won't get us anywhere Donna," his jaw sets and his body tenses, the sound he makes is hoarse.

She continues like she didn't notice him saying anything. "I've seen you sleeping through half of New York and I was bothered as little as I could be. I was truly sorry for Zoe she left with a feeling you didn't fight for her. I grew to like Scottie and I understand her actions somehow. But Paula?" her rhetorical question is dripping with sarcasm.

Harvey stays in the place, unmoving, growing more and more agitated by the turn their conversation took. Through the course of the evening he thought they share common front in his ex-girlfriend matter, but this idea went down in flames with Donna's sudden outburst. That's what she wants them to do now? Throw accusations at one another?

"Even leaving her infringement of rules aside, fucking your mental health doctor? What were you thinking? What's with _don't shit were you eat_ motto, huh?," she gazes back at Harvey.

He shakes head slightly, his most _don't-start-with-me_ face on.

"I don't remember you having objections when I told you, Donna. What's more, you not only knew I dated her before I even told you, you said you're happy for me. Was that all a lie?" he arches his brow at her in a challenge.

She parts her lips searching for suitable response, but cannot come up with any quick enough.

"I knew it!" he spats, his open palm crashing over cool surface of the counter. "Come on, why don't you tell me the rest of lies you fooled me with over the years, huh?" he finishes his inquiry with the same incredulity she did hers moments before.

Donna cringes internally at the timbre of his voice, feeling greatly provoked and in need to make this sensation go away. Part of her has no idea why this whole argument started, but as wrath starts to bubble, years of unsaid words, missing gestures, denial, repressions, rationalizations rise and she's nowhere near the place to let it go. She has let it go too many times, no longer sure for whose sake it was.

"Why don't we go one by one? In case you want to lie to me and yourself you never lied to me either!" she makes little pause to inhale. "You're gonna tell me your gut didn't twist when you saw me with Thomas?!"

"Fine, it did! At least I have enough courtesy to admit that!"

"Fine, I did hated you being with her! She was making me goddamn sick, you know" she adds with disgust covering her features.

"Ooooh was _she_ making _your_ gut twist?"

"You bet your ass she did!" Donna nods to emphasize her point.

"Glad you're sharing now! You know what's funny, you always picture it like I'm the only one running away with tail between my legs when it comes to telling the truth, but you're not better!"

Her brows furrow as strange flood of emotions flows each direction in her limbic system, adrenaline kicking in. "You asshole–"

"So you **did** feel something when you kissed me?!" his voice is dark and grumbling.

"Does the situation we're in speak loud enough for you to figure out I did?! Or you need to have it underlined with colors?"

He sends her cold look, commenting on her implication of his stupidity.

"Clear as fuck you **didn't** want more, did you?!" she counters.

"So what did you get to know?"

"What?"

"What the kiss did tell you?"

"Why does that have to come up now?!" the words she used mirroring another fight they had when she was still his secretary and it brings more fire to the fight.

"You won't sell it to me, Donna! What the fuck did you get to know?!"

She throws her hand up in the air, gesticulating with exasperation.

_Isn't it fucking obvious?!_

"That losing you to her it's gonna be a fucking nightmare and I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life if you would keep being together! And I couldn't stand you falling for whatever you admired in her, because…!" she groans, unable even to decipher at whom she is mad: him, herself, Paula? Okay, definitely Paula, but Donna has her own doing in the situation too.

"It was the first time you seemed to be truly _engaged_ in the relationship and I was seeing you trying to make this work and I started to ask myself how did that happen?! How did I not seen this coming, because well," she looked aside in typical _uncomfortable-Donna-manner_, "I **did not **know you were together when you told me and I made this whole speech up. It was… After Jessica left, for a moment there I thought we are going into right direction. And it was _so hard_ to leave this expression, when…" she hesitates, but after biting her lower lip, she finally brings herself to say it, her voice softer and definitely vulnerable, "I've always had that deep buried belief we _eventually_ will end up together. And Louis came to me with that stupid confession about losing his soulmate and… it got better of me."

He inhales sharply at her admission, not expecting to hear _that_. He had his own assumptions what pushed her into such act, but at the time he was too mad to really talk this through and later on they put it to the bed and never mentioned it again… Frankly, they would never discuss it, would they? No, it's just not what they has been doing through all those years. And yes, they did agreed to clear things from the past in their own tempo when they got together, yet through this three weeks any topic concerning their aching history wasn't brought to the table. They had other urgent matters at hand requiring their focus, it's true, but since the cat is already out of the bag, maybe it's some place to start?

In the brief moment when thoughts were passing through his head, he was watching her face contorts with distressed expression and he feels that _need_ to make it go away.

"I… Donn… I didn't…," he stutters like he rarely does and then clears his throat to gather himself for his own revelation and to make her look back at him. When she does, he continues more firmly, releasing the little secret out, "When you kissed me I was more angry at myself than at you. Because I _knew_ that if you wouldn't pulled out, I sure as hell wouldn't either."

Chocolate eyes hold hazel ones in an honest declaration.

"The kiss was three seconds long and I already pictured you pinned on the nearest wall. And it scared the shit out of me because I was afraid I'm turning into a man I've never wanted to be, that I'm going to be like my mother…"

He takes one tentative step toward her and then another, suddenly – without hot, red ire – feeling so far away from her, shiver runs down his spine and he could never stay truly away from her, could he?

"And I couldn't stand it. This and how by such simple kiss you managed to turn my world upside down, where I didn't know anymore who should be my priority and damn, I know I've never told you that, but I was so fucking furious with myself I let Paula made me feel like I was terrible boyfriend and I've almost taken away from you everything you worked so hard on…" his brow creases and he swallows thickly, still not entirely okay with what he has done.

The gap between them is back to being small and Donna has to rise her chin to maintain their connection. She's listening to him now, no signs of judgement, her earlier upset replaced by concentration. Yet, he cannot tell what's going on that beautiful mind of hers _once again_ and it unsettles _him_ this time.

"But I'm sorry, okay? I've never wanted things to get this turn," his hand reaches out to cover her and he's surprised by how cold her palm is, because his girlfriend is everything that's hot and joke _you've got hands as cold as your heart, Jeez_ was always on his side.

She blinks slowly, seemingly considering his words and whispers, "okay."

He lets out more relaxed breath, interlacing four sets of their fingers together, his thumbs running over her skin to warm her up.

It's their first real argument since they got together and both of them could never imagine fighting over… Over what exactly?

"What the hell we are even fighting about?" he speaks as softly as he can muster and dares to rest his forehead over hers.

"I don't know," she closes her eyes, her left temple still pulsating with headache she wasn't faking earlier. She truly has no idea what has happened here. Like at some point she's just… snapped.

Ugh, it was such a great day before Paula came to ruin everything.

Okay, her high heels had their try, but despite that it was pretty awesome.

They caught the lucky elevator during their ride in the morning, lucky because it was empty and they had a chance to share long, passionate kiss before they finally reached 50th floor. The weather was beautiful and Donna was sitting at her desk, basking in sunlight for a better part of her work time. Katrina brought her special cookies and with Samantha, the three of them spend the lunch break on eating up goodies and light conversation. Then when she got back and opened up her calendar, she found there sticky note with '_Shitty Thai Place dinner?_' written in that familiar style and her heart missed a beat. Later they grabbed food and had another pleasant elevator encounter.

And yet, here they are and even though the situation isn't ideal, they will have to deal with that in the best possible way. For now, she sees only one solution.

Donna opens up her eyes, moving away and her fingers slip from his grip, what catches his attention and he sends her questioning look.

"I think we need some time out."


	5. Chapter 5

Here we go again... I hope you still remember what's the story about, because I suck at updating, so sorry about that... I also hope the first episode of the last season created big darvey bubble around you because for sure it did for me. I had it written before all those beautiful and heartwarming scenes, so it's spoiler free, you don't have to worry.

As I'm still a rookie in a writing division, especially because I don't remember how to use proper English anymore (time to go back to my high school lessons...), I bet there are mistakes, but you know that already. I was sweating and bleeding over this chapter more than the previous ones, I admit, as I grow into the story, it becomes clearer and clearer how many layers of personality the character can have and I always want to show it to you to the fullest, so the difficulty level rise with the number of the chapter... Therefore, enjoy.

Oh! And of course big THANK YOU to the godmother of this fic.

* * *

_And yet, here they are and even though the situation isn't ideal, they will have to deal with that in the best possible way. For now, she sees only one solution._

_Donna opens up her eyes, mowing away and her fingers slip from his grip, what catches his attention and he sends her questioning look. _

"_I think we need some time out."_

"What?" his brows knit immediately. _No. No, she can't!_ "Donna, you can't–"

"Harvey, look–"

"We've been through–"

"A lot, I know," Donna interjects him and continues before he will get into her way. "That's why is the best if–"

"No, it's not only your decision to–"

"You'd see it's a good decision if you'd let me–"

"Are you out of your mind?! I will not let you leave again because of such a trivial shit! This is not a reason to split!"

Every fear he had about her leaving resurfaces and despite his solemn confidence he has worked through his past issues, panic starts to spread in his chest and he can feel his heartbeat increasing rapidly.

It's really remarkable how fast an amygdala sends an impulse to an adrenal cortex, stress hormones are released and what once makes people fight, the other time can make people flight. Or freeze. Harvey swallows, but his mouth is suddenly too dry for such reflex to happen and it freaks him out even more, words he shouted still ringing in his ears.

Donna shifts her weight backwards, taken aback by his unexpected reaction and eyes him with lack of understanding for his behavior, her irises big with surprise. Just when she's about to ask him where did that tantrum came from, it downs on her, heart breaking a little when she realizes how deep his scars run. Her face soften and her palm cups his cheek on its own volition, gentle, reassuring smile on her lips.

"Relax Harvey, I'm not going anywhere. I never meant to. I wanted us to drop the conversation for tonight, that's all," she observes as threatening gleam in his gaze settles down and he exhales deeply through the nose.

"Good," he murmurs back and looks aside, slightly ashamed with his outburst.

The moment prolongs as she caresses taut muscles of his jaw until he consciously eases them. Then she finishes her thought. "But this argument… I think we have rather long talk ahead of us and we are going to need a clear head for it."

"Donna, I'm sorry, I didn't–…" Harvey bows his head a bit, feeling like an idiot. Embarrassment isn't something he's used to hear in his tone and part of him cringes internally by how weak he sounds. Jumping to such conclusions wouldn't be so terrible in itself if he didn't get a shameful throwback gratis.

The redhead nibbles on her lower lip. "It's alright. We are not handling things, but we will."

"I need to get myself under control."

"I haven't been myself too," Donna shakes head to confirm her statement. "It's for both of us, Harvey. Things got messy along the way. We need to clear the air."

Then out of nowhere, he asks, "Am I screwing this?"

His voice is barely above a whisper when he verbalizes his reflection and lifts his chin up, reluctantly meeting her gaze. Her heart aches even more seeing the amount of anxiety behind those chocolate eyes.

"No. No," she repeats more confidently this time. "Why would you even think so?" she tilts head, trying to pour into her expression all the adoration she feels for that man. The emotion that survived long years hidden under all those layers of denial and insecurities, now burning bright.

"I just… do. Sometimes."

For tonight, she's going to cut him some slack and let it slide, but tomorrow… Tomorrow they will start fixing what still remains broken, because no matter how their work situation looks like, it's the highest time they focus on the issues waiting for them at home.

"You think that will do the work? Talking?"

"We've got into this by _not talking_, so yeah. I'm Donna, remember?" she quips in her usual manner.

"I could never forget," he declares somehow definitely, not following through the humorous gate she has opened.

"What does it mean?"

"What?"

"That you could never forget?"

Harvey flusters a bit, his reaction rather adorable when he cannot find words to describe what he means and being New York City best closer, he is still not the best feelings speech giver. Donna doesn't mind him that, after almost fourteen years by his side, she understands his inhabitations sometimes even better than her own.

"Exactly what it sounded like," he decides finally.

"You're weird man."

He simply stares at her face, memorizing lines engraved in his mind long time ago and reminding himself there's nothing they can't manage together. Anger, set ups, fights, threats, heartbreaks, dirty deals, separation, hurt. They have handled them all, so how can he doubt them facing some overdue conversation would be any different? This evening really had to rub off on him.

"Your weird man," he corrects. "Right?"

"Right."

Without any further explanation, Harvey opens up his arms, signaling her to step inside what she does with a glad chuckle. He rests his head next to her temple, leaving there a peck and his embrace closes securely around her. He exhales deeply, letting her presence calm down anything stormy within his soul.

How many times did he think about this in previous years? The number surely uncountable as his vivid imagination liked to go to this little hugging fantasy of his in times of need. It was tricky. He didn't even notice when _I can handle on my own whatever shit life throws at me_ turned into _fuck, where's Donna with her stupid comments when she's needed?! _and ultimately _okay, just this one time to calm myself down and I'll never imagine us ever again_.

Harvey snorts internally as he can almost hear Mike's sing-song voice saying 'Pussy!' upon his past illusions. Damn, he can hear himself saying much worse words. The irony is, now he's either getting old or soft, because since they got together, he cannot think of any better ending of a day than being able to hold her just like this. And for the rest of their lives. And if there is afterlife he never believed in, he hopes he will deserve her then too.

_Definitely getting soft_, he muses spreading his palm on her back and truth be told, he couldn't be less bothered by that.

The redhead smiles, nuzzling her cheek into his shirt and breathing in the smell of his cologne. The aroma was taunting her for years and now she gets to sense it any waking hour she wants, his scent masculine but warm, inviting. Despite where they are going to find themselves for a night, she knows her _home_ is always with her. Forget all the arguments and hurtful words, he has been safe harbor in her mind since the very beginning, since their hands shook and she fell for these gleaming chocolate eyes and complicated soul behind them.

Getting sentimental by the memory, she tightens her hold around his body. The world will probably never stop putting obstacles in their way, this evening the best example, but they'll make it. Donna has no doubts on that matter.

"I love you, you know?" he whispers, busying his lips with leaving kisses on the side of her face.

"I do and you're sappy and please say it again?"

"I. Love. You. Donna. Roberta. Paulsen," he laughs and murmurs in between kisses, his hand sneaking under the hem of her jumper and shirt. She tilts her neck, giving him more room for the caress and purr escapes her lips.

"I'm actually flattered you remember my middle name," she jokes as her palm rise to his hair and she uses her nails on his scalp the way he loves. "I love you too, Harvey."

"Well, I remember mine and Roberta sounds almost like Reginald so with that connection it wasn't so hard."

"Now I know why you couldn't keep girl's names straight – you were thinking too much about yourself," she feigns shock.

"Well as I said, there's one I could never forget."

Donna suppresses the squeal fighting its way out of her mouth, because _come on_, she's not sixteen, even though the butterflies in her stomach may have other idea. Instead of amusing him with her girlish reaction, she reaches for his mouth with vigor and passion.

His other hand lowers itself to her bottom and cups both cheeks, bringing her flush with him. Donna's hips starts to move against his on their own accord, sparkling more need into his system. Growing impatient, she brings his mouth to hers once again and kisses him deeply, tongues involved. It never ceases to amaze her how their bodies work together in a perfect harmony, even if it means being equally impatient with teeth clashing and getting stuck in clothes, it's a harmony nonetheless.

Astray thought catches her attention, saying the best way to get rid of that awful sensation Paula's visit brought is to sweat it out in a hot sex session. Smirking internally, she couldn't agree more. When they separate, his hooded eyes tells her everything she wants to know.

"Make love to me."

"As you wish," he smiles his most adoring smile and walks after her as she directs them to the bedroom. Fingers intertwined, he would follow her to the end of the world.

* * *

Having Donna sleeping next to him took Harvey onto different level of comfort. He didn't notice it until first night apart happened and he swore to himself, he's never letting her out of his bed ever again. Or hers for that matter, but they spend more time at his place anyway. Not that he minds Donna's apartment but having her bringing something indescribable into his bachelor's cave – something as simple as this mermaids blanket or claiming concreate mug as her own or the ridiculous amount of cosmetics in his bathroom – and making it _home_, it's making _him_ mushy.

He cannot help that any more than he can help expansion of the universe, so he just keeps being this cheesy version of himself whenever she's not aware. Of course, he's not going to admit he turned into Mike Ross and his puppy crap.

On the other hand though, Mike seems to appear in his mind too often.

To shake off this thought, Harvey takes a long inhale and wraps his arm around Donna tighter from behind. His eyes close again as he drowns in her scent.

"You're creepy, you know it?"

"You're gritting your teeth when you sleep."

"The fact that you know it, makes it even creepier."

"I'm sure the guy across the hall knows it too."

"You're an idiot."

"Wanna switch roles for old time sake and I'll make you appointment with my dentist?"

"And Louis's," she points out to annoy him.

"Too late, I got over that. He says my teeth better anyway, but that's not a surprise since they fit in my mouth."

She chuckles, actually amused by his comment and turns around to cuddle into his chest. Usually impossible bright room they are in is still dusky, so they may as well use the opportunity to catch up some sleep. Harvey kisses her forehead and settles as well, pleased grin stretching his lips. Yet when sleep isn't coming after a while, he resigns and allows his thoughts to flow.

Unfortunately, they happen to be circling about the subject he would rather avoid.

Paula.

Truth be told, when he first thought about asking her out, it wasn't because he was on pins and needles for the waiting period to end. He was going through major changes in his life and it reminded him about the therapy sessions – the other time when his life was drastically shifting. And as Donna's leaving his side shook him to the core, the awareness he has to take the reins and become managing partner did that too. Taking responsibility for his or Mike's stunts had been a child's play comparing to what Jessica had been doing all those years to keep this firm running and _he_ was supposed to be _her_. Simultaneously showing the world _he_ was _not her_ and he had his own plan how to take care of the business, whereas the only thing he had in mind was how to keep them afloat. And even that wasn't working out exactly how he wished to.

As if it wouldn't be enough, there was also mysterious _I want something more _coming from the very person he was never allowed nor ready to give more, not to mention she didn't have straight answer what that _something_ was. Even though he tried to not overthink Donna's statement, part of him expected her to want to be with him and he felt like a mess who still didn't figure out _how_ he loved her. And other part feared that if it's going to turn out true, he would eventually screw this big time and she would leave him once again, this time for good.

It triggered a panic attack, what triggered usage of coping mechanism and one thing led to another, he was thinking about his former therapist and her superficially uninterested demeanor. He had a hunch it was just a façade back then and it got him curious, since it was unusual for women to hide their attraction toward him. The other advantage was the fact he was rather comfortable around her and trusted her with his secrets… She was intelligent, eloquent and knew how to get to him. She was also completely different from the crew he used to lay his eyes on, less provocative and one-night-standish. It seemed like a good call, even better as the waiting period was over with a little surplus. He asked himself: why not give it a shot?

A thousand reasons, really. Some of them he discovered long after the actual relationship ended, sitting in Lipschitz's office and being lectured about transference or whatever is that called. Some of them he was made aware of just yesterday. Leaving aside Paula's mendacity, what bothers him is how and why did he find inaccurate regulation and followed it's character.

Harvey stirs, all of sudden tired of his current position and rolls on his back, bringing peacefully sleeping Donna with him, her head landing on his chest. Out of habit he is not even aware he possesses, his palm rests on her back and his thumb caresses her side.

_He is_ the best closer in the NYC and among the skills he polished up to the perfection, he goddamn knows how to make his research. No matter the perplexity following him at the time, he wouldn't make such a rookie mistake. On top of it – during the therapy sessions Stan focused on the unethical side of the situation, never mentioning the illegal one and given the Louis's stories, he loves rules as much as any other German, so why wouldn't he? Scottie seemed to know the one year version too.

"I can hear you thinking, you know," he feels more than hears her hoarse voice against his skin.

"And I was convinced you don't see me as someone who is capable of such activity."

He expected to gain a point by catching her off guard but she's as quick on her feet as always, even being halfway still asleep.

"Quite the contrary: I think you can but _oh God_ sometimes you use it the worst way possible."

"Like?" he volunteers, curious how she's going to end her jab.

"Remember when you bought your niece a dog without asking Katie or Marcus and it turned out she's allergic? You couldn't get rid of fur starting from–," she yawns midsentence and stretches after, then props herself on the elbow to look at him. "From your suits to the couch for next four weeks after you find the puppy another home."

"Well– it wasn't so bad – she loved it even when she got rash all over her face," Harvey smirks slightly.

"Yeah, remind me to never let you nowhere near my nieces or my cousins will kill me."

Specter shakes head at her remark. "Why are you awake? The alarm won't go off in another thirty minutes."

"My pillow was uncooperative and all tensed up," she taps his right breast and tilts her neck, looking at him from a new angle. She spots marks of tiredness under his eyes and wrinkles around his mouth point at uneasiness he's trying to cover. Donna is aware she has to tread carefully if she wants him to open up on whatever bothers him so much, even though she has some good guesses herself. "What's on your mind?"

Harvey inhales deeply, feeling guilty for being the cause of her worried expression, yet knowing he has to wrap his mind around the problem before he shares it with her, he negates. "I need to figure it out myself first."

"… Or, we can make it the easy way," she arches her eyebrow at him with a slight side glance. "And save us approximately six to eight hours before we will talk about whatever is bothering you again."

"What?" his forehead creases.

"Come on, Harvey, we've been doing it for years over and over again. We ping pong until you get mad, we fight, you shut me off, eventually you come to your senses and we talk this through," Donna elaborates, drawing a draft on his skin with her finger. "Don't you think that after yesterday we may try to fix this?"

Just as she said – until recently, she would push until he would get irritated, then wait appropriate amount of time and he would come to her on his own, reentering the subject after longer consideration. Truth be told, lately it was taking him less time and sometimes he was even reaching certain conclusions she didn't think he would, but getting to him was only through the hard way. One thing was constant – Harvey Specter didn't react to gentle suggestions or different points of view.

Since they broke the status quo of their relationship, Donna has been trying to find a method of planting a seed in Harvey's mind without digging up the giant hole beforehand. Latest problems presented them with a united front and yesterday they did not, but now was the perfect opportunity to finally coax him in a less arguable manner, maybe even without getting angry herself in the process.

Harvey dries up when realization he was doing exactly what she listed sinks in. Every time he could recall, it worked this fashion and it always ended with him finding a right solution after he confronted his thoughts with her. How the hell was he so predictable through all those years and he didn't notice? The second guessing he was experiencing moments before comes back as an itching feeling in the back of his mind. First doubting his research expertise, now his decision making… What's going to fail him next? His job fitness?

Donna observes with apprehension as scowl forms on his face and she runs her hand through the mess on his head, trying to gain back his focus. Whatever is happening under that shag doesn't seem to be going in the right direction.

"At least try to talk to me," she pleads with a sigh.

He doesn't respond and neither he moves, convincing her she lost her shot. _Baby steps, Donna._ A minute passes while he avoids meeting her eyes, but at least he mutters, "give me a moment to gather my thoughts."

"Okay," Donna whispers and leaves a kiss to his forehead (let's be honest, men love them too) and two moles, then settles back on his chest, her arm wrapped around his middle in a hug. It's not much, but it's a sign she's going to be there for him whenever he needs and what he's battling on his own, it's better to work out together. She wonders if he's bothered by the anxiety attack from the last night, owing to the fact that it seemed to be a past issue and now he can't rest.

Silence falls upon them like a sheet, the quietness of the morning encouraging to swim in their closeness before the buzzing of the work will separate them. She can still sense the flow swirling in his head, but after a while of the tight embrace he clear's his throat.

"Do you question your methods sometimes?" he voices finally, not quite sure he has chosen right words.

Donna shifts in his arms, trying to get a better look at his face while pondering the inquiry.

"Well, yes, sometimes I do. If I find them inefficient–"

"No, I meant more like – do you have something so automatized you don't double-check it and then you wonder if you did this correctly?"

The redhead takes a moment to analyze, also making an attempt to understand the following implications. Whatever skill he has in mind, it has to be imprinted into his very being because as long as she knows him (and God knows it's been long years) he never impeached his practice nor _double-checked_. What has happened to that world-wide known self-confidence he prided himself upon?

"Not usually, Harvey. When I have already learned something as a habit I stop checking up on that. I may ask myself if I did it, if I zoned out and haven't noticed but I don't question the integrity of my actions," she props herself back on the elbow. "Why are you now?"

He clenches his jaw, his sight aside, but he reluctantly shifts his gaze at her.

"You're not gonna like it."

It takes Donna a heartbeat to figure out what is he talking about. Or rather – about whom. "Paula." And before he gets a chance to speak, she interjects, because now it makes sense, "she said you screwed your research and you never screw your research."

"Yeah."

"She got into your head…" Donna's eyebrows arch and it looks like a challenge.

"She didn't," he counters instantly, tightening his grip on her waist.

"Yes, she did. Otherwise you wouldn't been losing sleep over it," she shrugs, leaving no space for other justification. _What a better way to start a day than learning your boyfriend is spending his morning worrying over what his psycho ex said, _she thinks, moving away from his embrace. Paula showed up for one night and honestly managed to fuck all balance they had, furthermore pissing Donna off so much, just a mere mention of her person manages to bring the redhead into fighting mode. Here goes less arguable manner, huh.

He inhales deeply with _I-knew-it_ expression threating to show up on his face, yet he finds in himself enough perceptuality to recognize her behavior as a defense mechanism. The weird tango continues, once making him run, once her. They deserve each other, don't they?

"Donna, wait," he reaches for her wrist before she slips away and he silently congratulates himself composure when he says, "you wanted me to share and I'll try to share, I know you hate her, but you I need your help to make this relationship work."

She halts abruptly, halfway on the other side of the bed and takes a long breath. She used to think Harvey was the only one acting out in their peculiar dynamic, but truth be told, she had her issues as well, Paula being one of them. Or maybe it was a realization her _know-it-all_ skills had a blind spot and it took away the control she had over their relationship, possibly leaving her all alone even without their substitute _friendship._ Anyway, now she should step up her game and follow her request to heal them too.

"I'm sorry," she lets out, turning back into his direction. "It wasn't fair."

"It's okay. Old habits die hard, huh?" he winks at her, shifting his hand to lock their fingers.

"You tell me," she chuckles, moving her thumb over his. "So what doesn't stick?"

"For the record, I don't screw up my research and secondly – I'm sure if it turned out to be two years period, Stan would insist to report her on his own, but he focused only on an ethic note during our sessions. And Scottie knows the one year rule too."

"And how do _you_ know that?"

"We had a little chit chat when she didn't want to take back her closing argument, where she stated her reputation was damaged by working in the same place as the fraud," Harvey announces casually, leaning against the headboard.

"Oh yes," she rolls her eyes, recalling the situation. One thing let to another and puff! Ladies and gentleman's, Zane Specter Litt. Donna rests her back too, trying to ignore the weird sensation caused by talking about legality of his previous relationship. "So to sum up – you think there's no option it's been two years as she said and that's yet another lie?"

"No, I don't."

"What?" her head snaps into his direction.

"I think she thinks she's right and the truth is different."

She studies his face for a moment, contemplating the possibility, before she hesitantly suggests, "is she psychiatrist or psychologist?"

"She's psychotherapist."

"Yeah, but did she finish medical school or psychological school?"

Harvey's gaze narrows when he looks at her with lack of understanding and it makes Donna roll her eyes once again. "You know the difference, right?"

"Of course I do," he snorts.

"So which one?"

"Ughm…" he scratches back of his head, rummaging through his memories to find an answer, but before he does, a question on his own leaves his mouth. "Why does that matter?"

"Because I think both associations has the same signature and if that's true, one of you must have get their hands on the wrong ethic code. Though I think it _doesn't matter_, maybe aside from taking your mind off the case."

"If I'm right she won't have grounds to claim anything from me ever again."

"Well, if you wouldn't act like a maniac few years ago, she wouldn't have now," she points out, tilting her head just slightly to emphasize her sarcasm.

"I guess I deserved that?" he chuckles.

"You did, Mister."

"Guilty as charged."

To her surprise, Harvey pulls her closer by their interlaced fingers and before their lips meet, he says, "at least there's no pee in my shoes," making them both smile into the kiss.

* * *

He never screws his research and neither did he over two years ago. He could feel it in his bones, growing like a cold shiver before it finally met his skin. In United States of America residence takes two APA's: American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association, each of them having their own ethic practice. How did Paula manage to fail at finding the right one, he would rather not know. It would only make him angry he not only dated incompetent therapist, but was also treated by her. As far as he would call it treating now.

To gain absolute assurance, he makes quick call to dr. Lipschitz, who reluctantly – because Harvey don't want to tell him why he needs that information – confirms, the waiting period is one year indeed. He mentally pats himself on the back, because _he is_ the best New York City closer with foolproof research methods and she can suck it.

Pleased with himself and freshly printed ethical code under his arm, he drops by SLWW COO office to share the good news and say he's going to be back in an hour. Donna looks up shortly, then nods, engrossed in some calculation he knows nothing about, yet her minimal response catches his attention nonetheless.

"How are your feet?"

"Hmm?"

"You had these terrible blisters yesterday, so I asked how are your feet," he repeats, putting both of his hands in pockets and rocking on his heels.

This time she takes a moment to actually meet his gaze.

"They are better, thank you," she answers bit confused, her forehead creased. "What's going on?"

"Why something has to be on? I'm just a caring boyfriend."

She shots him _don't-you-bullshit-me_ glance.

"Okay, just making sure we're good."

"We are, but it doesn't change the fact we have some talk waiting for us at home."

"You never forget, don't you?" he snorts and shakes head. "Why now?"

She sighs, leaving her pen and calculator on the desk and she brings her hands underneath her chin. "It's time, Harvey. I don't think we'll grow further as a couple without it."

He fights back a joke bubbling in the back of his throat and it's his turn to nod, "okay." Because there isn't much he wouldn't do for her after all and he's certain he'll survive _the conversation_ as well.

She gifts him with a small yet honest smile and gets back to her work, giving him a sign he can go too. Content with the current atmosphere between them, he turns around and walks to the exit, already pulling his phone to notify Ray he's on his way out.

"Harvey," Donna calls after him before he passes the threshold.

"Yeah?"

"Make this go for once and for all, ok?"

"You have my word," he promises and winks at her with that Cheshire Cat grin of his.

* * *

She locks the door to her home-slash-office and tugs the handle one more time to confirm it's actually closed. Swallowing thickly, she opens up her bag and casts in there her keys, out of habit stepping down from the stairs not looking up. She's been living there long enough she might as well do it in a sleep and she wouldn't stumble upon anything. Or so she thought before her gaze spotted very familiar figure leaning against her fence.

"Harvey," hangs in the air between them, the name spoken with both shock and relief. Despite all the awful words that fell from her mouth regarding his person, the corners of her lips turn slightly upward.

"If I were you I'd get this smile off my face, because I'm here to prove you wrong and show you how deep you can shove this favor thing down your… throat."

As soon as a cheered up expression reached her features, that fast it faded to give a mix of acrimony and ire place.

_That son of a–_

"And before you say anything, read this," he throws at her a file, knowing full well few printed pages inside are going to take away every right she might ever have to claim something from him. "It's the ethic code you should have knew by heart before you finished your school, but don't worry, I sensed you might have problems with reading, so I underlined the most important articles."


End file.
